Rukia of the 11th Division
by Wingdance
Summary: ON HIATUS. On their way to join the Shinigami Academy, Rukia and Renji come across Zaraki and Yachiru. Their association changes Rukia forever. This is a series of stories about Rukia's life if the one person she looks up to isn't Byakuya, but Zaraki Kenpachi.
1. Not an Adoption

**Rukia, age 114.**

* * *

Kuchiki Byakuya was certainly an impressive sight. He wore his finery like it was his birthright - well, it was. Rukia had never seen so much beautiful fabric and neat stitching in her life. But what was up with that thing in his hair? Rukia had never seen anything quite that ugly in her life. Well, maybe if you were rich enough, you could say it was fashionable and no one would say anything about it to your face.

Sode no Shirayuki was whispering at her to watch this example of a high-class soul, so Rukia could better imitate him later on. The damn sword was always after her to behave elegantly in life, to be a person worthy of the snow princess that was her sword. It was incredibly annoying, although Rukia probably just should've been glad she could hear her sword at all.

On the upside, her sword was willing to let her act however she liked during a battle. Sode no Shirayuki might not have really approved, but Rukia thought that there was no point in elegance while you're razing the field of enemies.

The butler guy that had kept one step to the left and back of Kuchiki stopped talking, and Rukia's mind combined the line of thought that was concentrating on fashion commentary with the line of thought that had actually been listening to the old man ramble on. It had been something like - "Blah blah, four noble families, blah, resemblance to dead wife, bliddy blah, we'll compensate any family you might have had before."

Rukia kept a blank face. She was sitting formally and her legs were cramping underneath her. She was fairly certain she'd missed something important from the guy's speech.

After a moment of silence, Kuchiki helpfully clarified, his own face as blank as Rukia's, "I wish to adopt you as my younger sister."

Crap, what were you supposed to say to something like that? None of the kids in Abarai had ever had this problem. Well, if they had, she'd probably be bumming off them for food instead of working her own way into Soul Society.

Kuchiki must have seen something in her face that made him think he knew her answer. "You'll be pulled out of the academy immediately and placed in the Thirteenth, as it is one of the less combat-intensive divisions. I will require that you never accept officer-"

She had intended to let him finish talking, but that was a bit much. "Please forgive my interruption, Kuchiki-dono, but you misunderstand. I must respectfully decline your generous offer." There, that was right, wasn't it?

"Rukia-sama, I'm afraid-" the butler started, but Rukia ignored him and brought her legs out from underneath her ass so she could rub at the cramps. Her sword sighed heavily and Rukia ignored her too.

"I'm not meant to be a noble or whatever," she explained cheerfully as she massaged her calf. "No offense, but I've got family that'd rather have me than any compensation, and I don't need you to place me anywhere. I'll work my way up myself, no help from you, and I'll do just fine wherever I end up."

Kuchiki didn't show any expression at her sudden lack of manners. "I will not give up on this. I will oppose any application you make to reach officer status."

"Do what you want. I'm planning on joining the Eleventh." As if Kenpachi would do anything some stuck-up priss told him to. Sure enough, Kuchiki's right eyebrow twitched, just a bit.

Rukia grinned and stood up, then bowed deeply, since she wasn't exactly sure how far was the right amount. "I won't give up on this," she said firmly, echoing his own words with a smile bright on her face. "See you around, Kuchiki-dono."

And then, because it felt _good_ to do it, she turned her back on him and walked out.

Renji was walking down the hall outside the room and raised his hand to wave at Rukia as she closed the door. "Hey, Rukia! I passed my secondary kidou exam!"

Rukia's already luminous smile became brilliant. "Good job! I told you all that training would pay off, didn't I?"

He caught up to her and they walked side by side down the hallway, heading towards the nearest exit. "Oh, have you finally recognized my superiority over you?" he teased.

The edges of Rukia's smile twitched angrily. "Oh yes, _Renji-sama_. I am a lowly member of the B-class who worships an A-class student like yourself, who finally managed to pass the same exam I passed _three months ago, Renji-sama_."

"As long as you know your place," Renji affirmed. Then, seeing that Rukia's hands were twitching and she was staring at his neck, he changed the subject. "What were you doing in one of the meeting rooms, anyway?"

"Oh, that?" She passed a hand in front of her face as if to wave off the subject, calm once more. "Some rich guy wants to adopt me."

Renji gave her an incredulous look, then said, "Did you show him what Rukongai brats'll do to rich perverts?"

Rukia laughed easily, happily, because who the hell would think she'd give up her family for a bit of money and a false sense of security? Being part of some noble family wouldn't make her safe or happy. Happiness came from the family she'd chosen, and safety came from beating the shit out of anyone who stood in your path.

"I didn't really get a 'perv' vibe," Rukia replied. "Though he _did_ want me to call him 'onii-sama'." They left the building and turned east towards their preferred training field.

Renji snorted. "I dunno, you might be old enough but you still look like a kid. Sounds like prime pervert fodder to me!" he called over his shoulder, having run off before he finished talking.

"I didn't give you permission to take a head start!" Rukia yelled once his comment registered. Sode no Shirayuki murmured something about her lack of elegance as Rukia took off at a run. Renji might have been bigger, but Rukia was faster and Renji had to start sprinting to get out of her range. "Get back here and fight me, you chickenshit!"

* * *

Author's Notes: This started out as a story about Rukia turning down the adoption, and turned into a small series about the kind of person Rukia would be if she flourished under the 'mentorship' of Zaraki Kenpachi. (I use the word 'mentor' very lightly, haha.) I don't know how many there will be, but I've got a few more written and will update every once in a while.

The stories will be posted as chapters to this story, and won't take place in chronological order. I hope you enjoy them.


	2. Division Assignment

**Rukia, age 116.**

* * *

Shinigami graduates were usually placed in a division that suited the talents they'd shown in the academy, unless a seated officer specifically requested a certain graduate. Rukia had visited the Eleventh Division a month ago to make sure Kenpachi remembered to request her, but hadn't held much hope that he'd actually do the paperwork.

Still, she hadn't expected to get placed in the Thirteenth Division, which was mostly known for it's lack of behavioral problems. During the few years she'd been in the academy, Rukia had gotten in about as many fights as she possibly could without getting expelled.

"I'm sensing nii-san's hand in this," Rukia muttered. The man had visited several times, always trying to entice Rukia into letting him adopt her. After a lunchtime visit when the man had brought her a dozen rice balls shaped like rabbits and told her to share them with her friends, Rukia had given in to acknowledging him as a brother in speech, if not on paper.

The rice balls had been _really cute_.

Rukia allowed the crowd of people all trying to get the paper with their assignment to push her back until she came out in a less crowded area. Immediately, she spotted Momo, a friend of Renji's in the A-class who had tutored both of them in kidou several times. (Although not at the same time, since Rukia might have been in a lower class level but she could still kick Renji's ass around Soul Society twice when it came to spellwork.) "Momo-chan!" Rukia called out. The slightly taller girl waved back and smiled weakly. Rukia picked up her pace to a jog and stopped at Momo's side. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Izuru-kun, Renji-kun, and I were all assigned to the Fifth Division," Momo explained, her eyes tired but focused on the crowd.

"The captain of that division is... Aizen Sousuke, right? Why's that so bad?" Rukia asked. "I can understand if you finally got tired of Renji, but Izuru-kun's an okay guy."

"You haven't heard? Captain Aizen is..." Momo's voice faded to a whisper, "dead."

Rukia froze. No captains outside of the Eleventh Division had died in seven hundred years. One captain had been promoted (whatever _that_ meant) about sixty-five years ago. Several captains had been exiled sixty years ago, for reasons that nobody really knew. The Eleventh Division's last captain had been killed three years ago when he refused to give up in the fight against Kenpachi. As far as Rukia was knew, that was it. People of captain-class strength didn't just go around _dying_.

"How?" she managed to ask.

"They're saying... it was his lieutenant. Ichimaru Gin." Momo's hand reached up to hug herself. "He killed Captain Tousen of the Ninth Division too. What kind of monstrous strength must he have to kill two captains?"

"Lieu- Ichimaru's been executed?"

"I don't think so, not yet. Everyone's been saying that he's being interrogated."

"Shouldn't there be an emergency issue of the bull- oh." The Monthly Seiretei Bulletin was published by the Ninth Division, and with what had happened to their captain, an emergency release probably wasn't high on their list of priorities. The magazine was the official source of news among the shinigami.

"There they are," Momo murmured, raising one hand high. Rukia followed her gaze and saw a familiar head of ridiculously red hair above the heads of the other clamoring graduates. A moment later, Renji and Izuru pulled out of the mass of people. "Any luck?"

Izuru spotted Rukia and gave a slight bow, which Rukia returned. Renji nodded at Rukia in greeting before speaking to Momo. "Yeah, they'll tell us our actual division in the morning. Fifth's too disorganized right now to take anyone new. I think they might be rerouting some of the guys who were supposed to go to Ninth, too."

"We've all got problems, then," Rukia said, making a face.

"You weren't assigned to the Eleventh, Rukia-san?" Izuru inquired.

"No."

"Your brother?" Renji asked with a grimace.

Rukia scowled. "Probably. Thirteenth is supposed to get a lot of the court's paperwork, so maybe I can process my own transfer papers. Hey, you guys could come to the Eleventh with me."

"Pass."

"No thank you."

"Too scary."

"You guys are total wusses," Rukia complained. "Where's the pride of the A-class?"

"I'm a full-fledged shinigami now," Renji bragged. "A-class is in the past."

"That's right!" Rukia agreed gleefully. "You're in _limbo_." She didn't seem to notice Izuru's sigh, or Momo's wince. "I get to go report to my new division in the morning."

"Oh yeah?" Renji countered. "At least I get another day off!"

"Lazy ass!"

"Grow a few feet and say that to my face, pipsqueak!"

Izuru sighed once more, and Momo smiled at him. "Want to go get lunch?"

Momo nodded gratefully. "Yes."

"Hadou 31, Red Fire Cannon!"

"Agh! _Ye lord! Mask of-_"

"Red Fire Cannon, Red Fire Cannon!"

"Stop shortcutting your damn kidou!"

Izuru and Momo were almost out of earshot before several instructors bore down on Renji and Rukia to admonish and separate them.

* * *

Author's Notes: Plot points were moved up in the timeline for, um... absolutely no reason. Mostly because I have no desire to write Aizen into this.


	3. Babysitting Trouble

**Rukia, age 109.**

* * *

Zaraki looked down dispassionately at the girl staring up at him with fierce eyes. Her friend, a red-headed kid, was frowning and occasionally tried to get the girl to back off. They both had good eyes, probably strong spirits, but they were weak as hell. Just some punk-ass kids.

It wasn't the first time someone had tried to follow him, or wanted to learn from him, but they always gave up pretty quickly. Sometimes they just couldn't keep up, and often they died in the battles Zaraki was always getting into - they either fell while trying to fight, or Zaraki killed them himself when they tried to run away.

Today, though, he had a headache and Yachiru's abundance of energy wasn't really helping.

"Watch the brat," Zaraki said, jerking a thumb back at the pink-haired child who was currently gnawing on her cloak. "I'm gonna hunt something down." Hopefully by the time he got back, she'd have them strung up in the trees and the two of them could move on.

Rukia watched Zaraki leave, then turned to Yachiru. "Hey kiddo, what do you want to do?"

"This is stupid," Renji insisted. "He'll just kill us whenever he feels like it."

"We need to learn to protect ourselves, and he's really strong," Rukia countered. "We should- where'd the kid go?"

Renji yelped and Rukia spun around to face her friend, only to burst into laughter when she saw Yachiru attached to his back and chewing on a lock of his red hair. "Get off me!" Renji yelled, twisting to try and dislodge the girl. Yachiru ducked out of his reach, his hair still in her mouth. He yelped again, this time in pain rather than surprise, and Yachiru spat out the hair and jumped off him, landing neatly in between Renji and Rukia. "Doesn't taste like candy at all," Yachiru said disapprovingly.

"I like you!" Rukia exclaimed. "Let's be friends."

"Hey!" Renji protested.

"I'm Rukia, and this is Renji," she said, ignoring her other friend outright. "We're both from 78-North, Abarai district."

"Rukichi and Firehead," Yachiru proclaimed. "I'm Yachiru. Wanna play tag?"

Half an hour later, Rukia and Renji were both exhausted and Yachiru was taunting them from her perch on a tree branch. "I told you this was a stupid idea," Renji muttered.

"Shut up, my ideas are never stupid." Rukia plucked a flowering weed and idly tore the petals off, then looked down at it more carefully.

"Hey, Yachiru-chan," Rukia called out. "D'you wanna learn how to make flower crowns?"

By the time Zaraki returned, Yachiru was covered in flower crowns, necklaces, bracelets, anklets, and belts. "What the fuck?" Yachiru ran across the clearing to him and leaped onto his left shoulder in a flurry of petals.

"Ken-chan, Ken-chan!" Yachiru exclaimed. "I'm the princess of the flower kingdom!"

His previous question seemed just as good as anything else he could say, so he repeated it. "What the fuck?"

"What the fuck, _your highness_," Yachiru insisted.

Zaraki ignored her and made his way over to the two brats, who were both leaning against a tree. They both looked worn out, but stood quickly when they saw him coming. "Here," he said, thrusting out the four bloodless rabbits he'd caught. He hadn't really expected the kids to still be around or conscious by the time he got back, but he'd killed an extra rabbit anyway. "Cook these."

"That'd be me," the boy brat offered, taking the rabbits in both hands. "Rukia, start a fire."

"You're not the boss of me," the girl warned him, but she walked off anyway, presumably to do as she'd been told.

Well, it never hurt to have someone around to keep Yachiru occupied, and he certainly didn't mind having someone else do the skinning and cooking. Zaraki settled down against a tree and let Yachiru tell him all about how she'd defended her castle from the evil firehead dragon and his servant who liked to steal people's flowers.

* * *

Author's Notes: And we go back in time! It took me until this point to feel like writing how Rukia met Zaraki. Renji is sort of... along for the ride. Because he spent time in the Eleventh in canon anyway, he won't end up very different in that respect when he's older. I think the main difference is that Rukia never picked Byakuya over him in this AU, so he won't have that burning drive to defeat him.

Anyway, we'll see how it goes. I hope you enjoyed it!


	4. Friendly Chat

**Rukia, age 116.**

* * *

As one of the newest members of the Thirteenth Division, Rukia didn't have the authority to push through her own transfer to the Eleventh, but she sweet talked a 20th seat into doing it for her. While waiting for the transfer to go through, she stayed busy and learned her way around by doing her job for the Thirteenth: delivering files and papers to different shinigami all over Soul Society.

"Excuse me," Rukia called through a door in the Sixth Division. "If someone could please open the door, my arms are very full." The door opened to reveal Renji, who looked mildly surprised but accepted the stack of papers that Rukia tilted into his arms. "Thanks!" she said with a bright smile, before muttering in addition, "For telling me where you got placed, asshole."

Behind Renji, a shinigami called out, "Who is it, Abarai-kun?"

Rukia stepped around Renji neatly. "Good day!" she said to the unknown shinigami, bowing politely. "My name is Abarai Rukia of the Thirteenth Division. I'm here to deliver Captain Kuchiki's blank requisition forms and receipts of recently filled requests."

"You're from Abarai too?" The shinigami was a tall, thin man with dirty blond hair, seated at a desk. A few other desk bound shinigami in the room looked up from their work to see what was going on.

"Yes, Renji-kun and I are old friends."

"You're an old pain in the ass," Renji muttered quietly, then winced when he saw an edge overtake Rukia's smile.

"Renji-kun, there's no need to take all of them from me, let me take at least half." Rukia stepped on his foot as she took the papers, and as if that wasn't enough, ground her heel in for a second before stepping back. Renji glared at her.

"Why don't you help Abarai-kun find Captain Kuchiki's office, Abarai-kun?" the man asked with a bit of humor in his voice.

"Of course, 15th Seat Moriyama," Renji answered stiffly. He bowed, then put a hand on Rukia's back and practically shoved her out the door. "Lovely meeting you all!" she called out before Renji slammed the door shut.

"It's 'Captain Kuchiki' now, huh?" Renji snapped, setting off at a brisk pace that Rukia hurried to keep up with. "What happened to 'nii-chan'?"

"Not in front of his minions. What's wrong with you?"

"I got into a fight," Renji bit out.

"Seriously? It's been, what," three days before the Fifth Division recruits got reassigned, minus the full two weeks that Rukia had been working already, "a week and a half since you started? You can't pretend to be obedient for that long?"

"Someone insulted Kenpachi-sama." His expression turned dark, which Rukia understood. Renji hadn't wanted to travel with Kenpachi and didn't see why the two of them couldn't make their own way to the Shinigami Academy, but he'd always been deeply appreciative of the things the older man and Yachiru had taught them. Lacking any formal training, Kenpachi had still been able to show them how to throw their reiatsu into their attacks, and Yachiru had somehow managed to learn shunpo on her own and bullied Rukia and Renji into learning it by chasing after her.

"You beat the- good morning!" She bowed and smiled politely to a passing shinigami, the continued once he was out of hearing range, "-shit out of them, didn't you?"

"Of course I did," he replied, affronted. "The problem was that I attacked first, and the guy was a 20th Seat. Lieutenant Shirogane sat me down afterwards and lectured me for an hour, then stuck me at a desk as a probation sentence. I've got a week left before I get to do any training with the division again."

"That's awful," she said, honestly sympathetic. Rukia was frustrated by the lack of decent fighting in her own squad - how would she ever get stronger if she wasn't constantly pushing herself against stronger opponents? - but there were organized spars three times a week and she got to run around Soul Society for her job.

"Yeah. Bright side, apparently I'm considered strong enough to go hollow hunting once my probation's over. It usually takes recruits years to get that far."

"And now I hate you again," Rukia proclaimed.

"That's right, what're you doing in Thirteenth? Didn't you want to go back to fearing for your life under Kenpachi-sama?"

"That's right, do you believe this shit?" Rukia was angry enough to forget about being classy in front of strangers, as a pair of gossiping officer walked by as she spoke. "I delivered some stuff to Ken-sama yesterday, and he says I should fill it out for him. And when I tell him I don't know how to fill out those forms, he asks, then why did he bother having me stuck in the Thirteenth Division anyway?"

Renji blinked. "Seriously?" He hadn't thought the man would wish desk work on his worst enemies, but apparently he was willing to abandon Rukia to it.

"I _know_. He says he thinks he can get away with half-assing the paperwork for maybe a year, so he wants me to learn how to do it before then. He says he can't trust the dumbshits who're already in the division to take care of it for him." Rukia sounded torn somewhere between anger and pride.

"He should have Yachiru fill it all out," Renji snickered, but Rukia lit up like he was a genius.

"That's actually a great idea!" Rukia exclaimed. "It'll take longer for them to process her crayon messes than it will whatever Ken-sama writes, since they'll have to figure out what she wrote first. You actually are capable of intelligent thought, Renji."

"If you haven't seen it before, it's because I didn't think my audience was smart enough to appreciate it," Renji shot back.

Her retort was cut off as they stepped into the office that preceded the captain and lieutenant's shared office. The third seat who acted as secretary waved them through without looking up, and Renji let Rukia open the next door.

"Good morning, Captain Kuchiki, Lieutenant Shirogane," Rukia chirped as she walked in. "I have your requested requisition forms and the receipts of filled requests for the last two weeks."

"Put them here, please," Shirogane said, gesturing to a corner of his desk. "You know, I've never understood why you need to fill out a requisition form in order to get more requisition forms. Abarai-kun, have you been settling in all right?"

"Yes, sir," Renji replied, setting the papers down. He and Rukia were both startled when Kuchiki was sitting at his desk one moment and suddenly standing in front of her the next. Shirogane looked a bit confused. "Good morning, Captain Kuchiki," said Renji steadily.

Kuchiki nodded to him and looked back to Rukia. "Is the Thirteenth Division treating you well?" he asked her lowly.

Renji watched Kuchiki's expression soften just a bit as they spoke, and internally shook his head. Why the hell some upper class, uptight shinigami captain wanted to adopt a backwater runt like Rukia so much was beyond him.

* * *

Author's Notes: The district they're from isn't actually called Abarai in the canon, I think, so please ignore the discrepency if it bothers you. I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	5. Strawberry's Intro

**Rukia, age 150. **

**Human World Date: August, 2001.**

* * *

"It's... my fault? The reason that Dad and Yuzu are covered in blood is..."

Ichigo looked up at the strange, self-proclaimed 'shinigami' for answers, but he could only see the girl's black-clothed back. "Save your worries for the end of the battle, boy!" she yelled. In front of her, the hollow lashed out with an arm.

"Look out!" Ichigo yelled, but the girl was already in the process of ducking, her sword held above her. She knelt and slashed above as the arm came flying towards her, and the pressure of her swing combined with the force of the hollow's attempted blow caused the plain sword to cut through the monster's wrist like butter.

The thing howled angrily and swung its good arm viciously at her. In a flash, the girl was gone, only to reappear in Ichigo's sight as she ran up the hollow's arm. She reached the top quickly and leaped off sideways, slashing through the hollow's mask as she fell.

Ichigo watched in fascination as the hollow's figure crumbled to nothing. The shinigami landed lightly on her feet and sheathed her sword, the last bit of glinting metal covered just as the hollow vanished completely. The whole situation was incredibly absurd, and the weirdest thing that had ever happened to him, but he had to admit... when she tried, the shinigami girl could look pretty damn cool.

Of course, that was almost immediately ruined when the girl grinned wickedly and yelled, "Hah!" down at her sheathed sword, then looked to Ichigo and bragged, "Elegant, right? Doesn't get much more graceful than that. It totally makes up for how stupid I looked when you kicked me in the ass earlier." Then she looked down and slapped her scabbard. "Shut up, what do you know?"

"I know you're an idiot," Ichigo muttered. Then he remembered, and could have slapped himself for forgetting. "Yuzu!" he pleaded, looking down at the prone form of his sister in his arms.

"She'll be fine," the shinigami said easily, walking over to Yuzu and Ichigo. "Her soul's undamaged, and healing a living body is easy." Her hand began glowing green, and she passed it over Yuzu's body. Every area under the shinigami's hand healed instantly. "It's healing people who are already dead that gets tricky," she explained, even though it raised more questions for Ichigo then it answered. "All done! Who else is in your house?"

"Dad and Karin," Ichigo answered without thinking as he looked down at his sister. Yuzu twitched, then blearily opened her eyes.

Before Ichigo knew what was happening, the shinigami had slapped her hands over his eyes. He heard a sound like a puff and felt a rush of air across his face before he managed to jerk away. "What the hell!"

Yuzu was asleep again, and the shinigami had a satisfied look on her face. "What was that?" he demanded.

"You, I'll deal with tomorrow," the shinigami informed him. "White Crawl." She tapped him on the forehead with two fingers, and black crept in at the edges of his vision. "Hey," Ichigo protested weakly. He fell unconscious.

Rukia caught the orange-haired boy before he hit his head on the ground and lowered him gently - not that it probably mattered, since he came across as pretty hard headed. She laughed quietly at her awful pun. "Hell butterfly! Come on, I've got a message."

Every shinigami assigned to the human world was given a single hell butterfly in case of an emergency. Not that it was really practical - by the time the butterfly got back to Soul Society and reported the problem, the shinigami in trouble had usually either solved things or died.

Rukia gave the butterfly her messages to repeat to the Tenth Division stenographers, who would make sure all her requests went to the appropriate divisions instead of making her send out every request individually. After reciting the code to bypass her lack of an actual requisition form - definitely _the_ most useful thing she had gotten from her time in the Thirteenth - she asked for spiritual pressure limiters to keep hollows from hunting down Ichigo again, a gigai for her to walk around in so she could stalk Ichigo at school and make sure trouble didn't follow the kid around, and enough forms that Rukia could report a different detail of the incident to each division and create a thorough paper trail without actually raising any flags.

_Technically_, when encountering a living human with enough spiritual powers to attract hollows, it was supposed to get reported to the Third Division, who would probably just kill him to fix the mess. Rukia thought her solution was better, and much more fun.

Rukia looked down at Ichigo and his sister before looking at the house and the huge hole in one wall. She still held the memory replacer in one hand. "Back to work," Rukia sighed. A grin overtook her face, growing wider with every step. "This assignment won't be _nearly_ as boring as I thought it'd be."

* * *

Author's Note: We've reached Ichigo! Although I can't promise that the next chapter will be this far ahead in the timeline. I've been thinking about writing Rukia's entrance into the Eleventh Division.

I will apologize ahead of time for the fact that it will probably take me a while to update again. As Galen from _Crusade_ liked to say, "Expect me when you see me."


	6. Boredom and Training

**August, 2001.**

* * *

Rukia cursed and threw down the paper that the hell butterfly had regurgitated. Ichigo had been staring at the black insect as if it was both the most interesting and most disturbing thing that he had ever seen, but Rukia's reaction made him look her way. "Something wrong?"

"Lieutenant Kurotsuchi denied my gigai request. I'm so _bored_," she complained, throwing herself back onto his bed. For someone who claimed she was nearly a hundred and fifty years old and said her sword wouldn't work correctly unless she behaved 'elegantly', Rukia acted an awful lot like a normal teenager. "I swear I've killed every hollow in a hundred mile radius." That had to be an exaggeration. "I want to go to _schooool_." Okay, now he wanted to kick her.

"I thought you said Kurotsuchi's a captain?" Ichigo asked, trying to shift the subject. The hell butterfly, having not been given a return message, fluttered off and out the window again.

Rukia scowled, her forehead almost as furrowed as Ichigo's usually was. "Captain Kurotsuchi Mayuri's lieutenant is his daughter, Nemu. Only he's a creepy fuck, so she's not _really _his daughter, just some kind of weird clone thing. Nemu's all right, though," she added as an afterthought.

"You guys can _clone _people?" Ichigo imagined multiple Rukias, all laughing and yelling and complaining. A chill crawled up his spine and he shivered.

"Nah, just Captain Kurotsuchi," Rukia said dismissively. Her back solidly on the bed, she raised her legs up so that her toes pointed into the air. "I think his sword's power is to make creepy impossible science shit become possible." Her back arched until her toes were touching the space behind her head.

"Your sword's right," Ichigo told her dryly, "you could definitely stand to be a little more girly."

"Bakudou one-"

Ichigo's eye twitched. "Hold on-"

"Restrain," Rukia finished easily. Ichigo yelped as his arms came flying up to lock in place behind his back. "How about we do some more kidou practice?" Rukia suggested belatedly. Her legs spread out into a split and the black folds of her pants draped down and obscured her face from Ichigo's view.

"You're supposed to say that before you start flinging spells around!" Ichigo hissed, mindful of the loud footsteps outside his room.

His bedroom door flung open accompanied by a boisterous yell of, "ICHIGO!" Kurosaki Isshin, Ichigo's overly doting and insane father, came running in with a punch aimed for his only son. Ichigo had moved his feet to take a solid stance the instant he realized it was his dad and was obviously prepared for the attack - one leg moved out in a flash to trip Isshin. Ichigo had put himself firmly in the way of the fall so that Isshin landed on Ichigo's back, Ichigo twisted and threw his dad out the window. All without using his hands. Ichigo was a little impressed with himself, even if he did end up on the floor from a lack of balance after twisting his whole body to the side like that.

Rukia rolled forward and peeked out the window, where Ichigo was sure Isshin had landed safely on the front lawn, judging from Karin and Yuzu's startled but not scared screams. As Karin began yelling, Isshin cried about how none of his children loved him.

Rukia claimed to adore the Kurosaki household, saying it was often just weird enough to make her feel at home. Ichigo thought she was certainly weird enough to belong to his family.

On the floor, Ichigo finally had the moment of peace he needed without being badgered or attacked to use the mental exercise Rukia had taught him to break low-level kidou. He imagined the spell binding his arms, saw it in his imagination, and imagined throwing himself into it. It was a weird bit of mental trickery, throwing his body into something that was holding his body, but Rukia said that was the easiest way to get his mind to move his energy to a specific place. Whatever the reason, it overloaded the kidou and he could move his arms again. Wincing, he flexed his biceps and pulled his arms around to the front, the joints cracking a bit along the way.

The day after 'The Incident,' as Rukia had taken to referring to it, Rukia had started squatting in Ichigo's closet and gotten a hell butterfly that delivered a ridiculous amount of paperwork and two silver chain bracelets. The links were almost small enough to look delicate, and therefore girly, so Ichigo had balked when Rukia told him to put them on. That lasted just long enough for her to add that they would keep his spiritual pressure down and therefore keep hollows from attacking again. He nearly broke the damn things in his haste to wear them.

Since then, Ichigo hadn't been able to break the kidou with his own strength like he had on the night of The Incident, and Rukia was teaching him how to do it properly. It was a useless skill, in his opinion, but Rukia claimed that he had too much power for the limiters to restrain completely, so he should learn to use what he had. That, and teaching relieved some of her boredom.

Weird, weird girl.

"You're getting better," Rukia observed from her spot on the bed, where she was no longer contorting her body in weird ways. "In a week or so I can probably start teaching you how to cast the actual kidou."

"And what do I get out of that? At least with this I can break out when you're having a sadistic tantrum."

Ichigo would swear that Rukia's smile glinted. "I'll start with the restraint kidou, and then you can try to get me with it."

_That_ was worth trying for. Ichigo grinned as he imagined laughing over Rukia's prone and cursing body.

"Good fucking luck, though," Rukia added.

* * *

Author's Note: An update! I ran through the pre-written chapters and had to started fresh. This is why there are never any cliffhangers in each chapter; I never know when I'm going to get around to posting again, and I don't want to be mean to my few (lovely, I love you all!) readers.

At **KHFFROKSMISOKS_XD**'s suggestion, I have added time markers so you can keep track of what's happening when. This chapter (pretty obviously, I hope) takes place about a week after the last chapter, or The Incident, as Rukia is calling it. This was edited in after this chapter was released, so I'll mention it again at the end of the next chapter.

To everyone who has favorited this or reviewed, thank you very much! To those reading without comment, I hope you're enjoying it!


	7. Tall Tales

**Rukia, age 120.**

* * *

"Who the hell do you think you are, telling me what to do?" The door slammed shut, leaving Rukia to stare blankly at the wood and rice paper that comprised it. On the other side, Rukia could hear the man who had just yelled at her, 20th Seat Yamada Chousuke as he grumbled about pint-sized girls waking him up.

A breeze went by, blowing Rukia's bangs into her eyes.

It had only been a week ago that Rukia had convinced Kenpachi to let her transfer into the Eleventh, after swearing up and down that she had enough experience to take care of the division's paperwork. She had anticipated the mountain of scrolls and stacks of papers that awaited her. Rukia had, however, managed to forget that, unlike in the other divisions, people wouldn't fill out proper reports or sign off on the required forms just because she sent them out. The Eleventh Division took pride in their strength and their laziness. Nothing got done unless it involved fighting.

Rukia grinned to herself even as her eye twitched at the rudeness of the 20th-Seat who had just disrespected her. After four years of being a good student at the academy and one year of being a polite subordinate in the Thirteenth, she was finally where she belonged.

"You got a problem with pint-sized girls?" Rukia hollered, carefully balancing herself for the jump she was about to make. "Making some kind of comment about our lieutenant, huh?"

"If I don't let that brat order me around," Yamada yelled as he drew closer to the door, "what makes you think a runt like you can-" As soon as the door began opening, Rukia spun around and leaped into the air. Her foot slammed sideways into his face, knocking the asshole down and onto his back. "What the fuck do you-" he started shouting, but was cut off when Rukia jumped onto his solar plexus, knocking the wind out of him before putting one foot on the ground and another on his throat.

"What was that?" Rukia asked sweetly. "I couldn't hear you." Yamada's arm began to jerk up, so Rukia put pressure on his throat until he started choking and stopped. "You certainly couldn't have been making disparaging remarks about my height, or Lieutenant Yachiru's. The lieutenant is a princess compared to normal people, so in comparison to a worm like you, she may as well be an empress. For the purposes of this comparison, by the way, Captain Ken-sama is a god.

"The point of this conversation is that, to you, I am a servant of god. And this servant of god says," Rukia's false smile fell off her face as she dropped the piece of paper she'd been holding onto his chest, "rewrite this fucking report properly or I will make sure you never have the chance to have children."

The instant Rukia removed her foot from the Yamada's throat, he raised his arm up and caught her ankle in his hand. She let herself fall to the ground with a bored expression, one hand on her sheath to position it properly. When Yamada jumped up to his feet, still holding her by the ankle, she made sure the sheath was aimed to hit him in the groin as he raised her up.

Yamada instantly dropped her, his face turning colors as he reached down to hold his family jewels, far too late to do any good. Rukia hit the ground on an extended hand and flipped back onto her feet.

Rukia's smile was genuine as she watched Yamada drop to the floor and moan in pain. "You have two days to return the correctly written report, 20th Seat Yamada. Thank you in advance."

* * *

"That is _not _the way it happened. I don't fucking believe you."

Fridays were drinking nights for Rukia, Renji, Kira, and Momo. Momo was drinking slowly, sipping as the alcohol hit her bloodstream and made her cheeks progressively redder over the course of the night. Kira always started off with several shots, then drank beers at a steady pace to maintain the buzz. Both of them got quieter the drunker they were, unless something was bothering them and they wanted to complain.

Renji and Rukia, on the other hand, hit the alcohol hard and fast, steadily trying to outpace each other and arguing all the while.

"I don't for a second believe it all went down that- that _neatly_," Renji said. "He's a higher rank than you!"

"The Twenties are fucking wusses," Rukia argued. "You could take one out easy. Hell, _Momo-chan _could take one out! Blindfolded!"

In a clear and careful manner that made it obvious she was already drunk, Momo said, "I'm an 18th, Rukia-chan. So go and, um... what's the phrase...?" Kira leaned over and whispered something in her ear, turning Momo's cheeks even pinker than before. "Kira-kun! I can't tell her to do _that_!"

"I wasn't being mean, Momo-chan, 's why I handicapped you with the blindfold."

"It's Kenpachi-sama's division, Rukia," Renji interrupted before the conversation could get too off-topic. "His seated officers should be badasses."

"But they're not," Rukia said. "There are two requirements to being a 20th Seat in the Eleventh - one, you've got to be tougher than the 20th Seat you're taking the position from, and two, you have to have underlings."

Renji looked at her despairingly. "Oh, no. No way."

"Which leads me into the next part of my story!" Rukia exclaimed. She downed her drink before continuing.

* * *

The day was beautiful and her office had no windows, being as it was just the storage room where all the excess paperwork had been shoved until Rukia started working on it, so Rukia had grabbed the weekly reports and a few paperweights and taken her work into one of the courtyards. She'd been joined briefly by Ikkaku, who was fixing his hangover with more sake, and Yumichika, who was writing haiku comparing the beauty of his hair to the sun, before Ikkaku wandered off and Yumichika followed him, complaining that the sun was too hot and nasty to compare to his luxurious hair. They were stopped at the edge of the courtyard by some fresh recruits, their conversation conducted too quietly for Rukia to hear, probably in deference to Ikkaku's hangover. Rukia ignored them and practiced her calligraphy by writing the character for 'failure' in red ink over the worst reports.

"Excuse me, senpai?

She placed a weight over the report she'd been reading to keep it from flying off and looked up. There were three recruits standing in front of her, all of below-average looks. Rukia was beginning to suspect that someone was snatching up all the handsome graduates - probably the Tenth Division. It sounded like something Matsumoto would do. "You got a good reason for interrupting my work, freshmeat?"

"Sorry," said one of them. Rukia mentally named them Taro, Jiro, and Saburo, the traditional names for the first, second, and third-born boys in a family. "We were given an assignment by the incomers coordinator to find the names of all of the seated officers and report back by the end of the week."

Icebreakers, as mandated by Captain-Commander Yamamoto. They weren't allowed to really start breaking the recruits until a week into their assignment. "That's nice. I'm not seated. Go away."

"The thing is," Taro continued on as if Rukia had never spoken, "we can't get anyone to tell us who the fourth seat is." He moved in front of her, blocking the sun from her eyes, while the other two fidgeted and moved around as well.

"Makes sense." There was no fourth seat in the Eleventh Division. The position technically should have gone to Yumichika, who had spouted some crap about the number five being more beautiful but really just didn't want the responsibilities.

Jiro and Saburo were on opposite sides of Rukia and slightly to the back, putting the three men in a triangle position around her. Taro smirked. "So I figure this is some kind of hazing ritual, and we'll get some runt to tell us the right answer."

Rukia sighed and looked around at the reports surrounding her. They were getting a little better every week, mostly because she picked out the worst of the offenders and told Yachiru that a few of the seated officers wanted to play a 'game' with her. Still, a nice walk sounded much better than trying to pick out words from chicken scratch handwriting.

"Okay, come with me and I'll talk to your coordinator about it." The men laughed amongst themselves and gave Rukia superior looks while she ignored them and gathered her papers. After a quick visit to her office, she followed the chatting men to the incoming recruits coordinator, Harada Sousuke. The group of four bowed respectfully. "15th Seat Harada," said Jiro, "the runt here has something to say to you."

Harada, who knew perfectly well that Rukia was friendly with the captain and vice-captain, smirked. "'Runt', huh?"

"15th Seat Harada," Rukia said, bowing as she spoke. "I humbly request that you place these three under my supervision at the end of the week."

"What? You were gonna talk him into giving us a break!" Taro yelled.

"We _threatened _you," Saburo said.

"You need some assistants?" Harada asked her.

"Punching bags."

* * *

"And then they made me their king!" Rukia crowed. "A round on me!" She reached into her sleeve and pulled out a rolled-up sheet of paper that, when opened, proclaimed in writing that Abarai Rukia of the Eleventh Division had been made a 20th Seat.

"I missed the actual- the _promotion _part," said Renji.

"Oh, that." Rukia made a face. "Ken-sama said if I was beatin' up 20th Seats and gettin' minions and stuff, he had to give me a seat. 'Cause it shows strength and... and _leadership _skills."

"And _another_ thing," Renji continued as Momo flagged down a passing bartender. "I don't believe that there are three people stupid enough to fall for that."

"Y'want minions too, huh?"

"N-no! I have minions! I've been a 19th seat for the last six months!"

"But they don' let ya call 'em 'minions', huh? Bet it's 'sordinates' or somethin'."

Renji frowned and looked away from Rukia. "Subordinates," he grumbled. "But they _are_ minions!"

"Wanna borrow mine once I break 'em in?"

"Here you go!" said the bartender cheerfully as she delivered the drinks. "Beers for Renji-san and Rukia-san, sake for Momo-san, and an apple martini for- is Kira-san asleep? You know that's not allowed, you guys have to wake him up or take him home."

The three of them looked at each other. "It's your celebration, Rukia-chan," Momo said. "I'll take him back if you want."

"Nah. Chug the sake, Renji can down Kira-kun's girly-ass drink since it suits him-"

"If I was sober, I think I'd consider that an insult."

"-and we'll jus' take the beers back." Renji took the green drink and tapped it against the cup of sake Momo held up before they both tipped their drinks down their throats. Turning to the bartender, Rukia added, "Put it on Kira-kun's tab, and give yourself a nice tip."

"That's why you guys are my favorites!" the woman said cheerfully. "Have a good night!" She turned around and the smile dropped off her face in an instant at seeing a rowdy woman standing on a table on the other side of the room. "Rangiku-san!" she hollered, stalking across the room.

Momo lifted Kira up into a standing position to make it easier for Renji to throw the other man over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. Rukia nearly moved to help them before she spotted her promotion notice on the table, soaking up a stray puddle of alcohol. She picked it up and smiled happily.

"Come on, let's get out of here."

* * *

Author's Notes: The newest chapter! Sorry it took so long... but I have a feeling I'll be saying that after a lot of new chapters. Anyway, this isn't my favorite, but it got across the point I was trying to make, which is that everyone is rising in the ranks. Kira didn't bring it up, but he's currently a 19th Seat, like Renji. I started this off the same way it currently starts and intended to go straight to Rukia gathering minions instead of adding in the bar stuff, but I realized while writing it that everything went a bit too perfectly for Rukia. Thus, it became a bar story. In 'reality', Rukia and Yamada probably cursed each other out and had a proper fight (which Rukia won), and Rukia had to do a little more convincing to get her minions. But no one will ever know, because I won't write that part!

As always, I am thankful for all my readers. I'm especially grateful to those who haved reviewed, favorited this story, or added it to their alerts. Thank you very much!


	8. Dead People Do Get Sick

**September, 2001**

* * *

Rukia would have laughed if she wasn't so busy coughing. Ichigo hovered nearby, obviously worried but trying to seem aloof. "How can dead people get sick? That doesn't make any sense."

"Don't ask me," Rukia returned. "Captain Ukitake's had tuberculosis for as long as anyone can remember."

Ichigo's brow furrowed, as it always did when he was angry or confused. Which was often. "But TB's treatable, and if it hasn't been treated, it should have killed him."

Rukia really liked Ukitake, even if he was only her captain for a single year - man might've been sick and girly looking, but he was _badass _- so she'd gone to the Fourth Division to ask about tuberculosis when she heard about it. "He's resistant to the treatment, and powerful enough that his spirit energy usually keeps it in check. Point is, dead people get sick too."

"So you're going to stay in tonight?"

She stood and glared at him. "Hell-" Another coughing fit cut off her cursing, so she held one hand over her mouth and used the other to flip Ichigo the bird.

_'Grace!'_ Sode no Shirayuki cried out. _'Elegance! It's not terribly difficult.'_

_'I'd like to see _you_ act like a princess while you're hacking up a lung,' _Rukia thought back irritably. The coughing stopped and she breathed carefully, with a new and deep appreciation for oxygen.

_'Perhaps if you practiced on a regular basis- hey!'_

"Hey!"

The mental conversation between shinigami and zanpakutou was cut off when Ichigo grabbed Rukia's pager. "No hollow hunting when you're about to fall over."

"Ichigo, you dumbass," Rukia muttered without any real malice. "I'm not about to let a little cold stop me from beating shit up."

"You can have it back if you can take it from me," said Ichigo, smirking.

Normally, Rukia would just use a binding kidou and pluck the device from Ichigo's fingers. He could break the kidou almost instantly now, but Rukia was fast - she had to be, to keep up with her lieutenant's games - and all she needed was for the human boy to be distracted for a moment. She could be five times as ill and still be a force to be reckoned with.

But the fact was that she _was _sick, and sort of tired, and sick of arguing with both her sword and Ichigo. Rukia folded her hands in front of her and looked directly into Ichigo's eyes. No glares, just a quiet meeting of gazes. "Ichigo. I can't allow any hollows to attack innocent people. Where would you be if I hadn't shown up to defend your family?" Ichigo actually flinched. She continued, trying to remember the things Ichigo had told her about his friends from school, "What if the person attacked was Chad? Or Tatsuki?" He looked ready to argue, so she added quickly, "Or Orihime?"

Rukia held out her hand.

There was only a moment of silence before Ichigo muttered, "Fuck," and thrust the pager back into Rukia's hand. "_Fine_. But if you have to leave, I'm coming with you. I can at least cast that one spell."

"Of course," Rukia lied. In her mind, Sode no Shirayuki praised her. Apparently, that little speech had lived up to her sword's high standards.

"Thanks," said Ichigo quietly. He gave her a small smile and looked a bit sheepish.

Rukia smiled back and sneezed.

* * *

Author's Notes: This is pretty short, but it was also posted pretty damn quickly after the last one, so I count that as even! I was thinking about writing the part where Renji transfers to the Eleventh Division, but one of my reviewers requested more of Ichigo and this came to mind, so... as you requested, janeway74656kat! As always, thank you to all my readers!


	9. Pager Problems and Acidwire

**October****, 2001.**

* * *

"Crap," Rukia muttered, slamming her pager against her hand. She jammed on the power button a few times, but nothing happened.

The sound made Ichigo look up from his homework assignment. "Something wrong?"

"I can't get my pager to turn on."

"Let me try." Having no other recourse, Rukia obediently handed it over. Ichigo removed the back cover and removed the battery - some kind of stone the Twelfth Division had invented that emitted a specific type of spirit particle - in one smooth motion , then waited a few seconds before popping it back in. He pressed the power button to no avail. "Huh. Thing's broke."

"Shit."

"Can't you just request a new one?"

"It's a prototype, Kurotsuchi'll want a report on what I might've done to make it break before he'll give me a new one." Her patrol was due to start in an hour, but that was always to give the pager's radar a chance to scan Karakura's outer perimeter rather than to check up on Karakura itself, which was well within the radar's range.

Ichigo twirled the pencil in his hand. "Can't you just... I don't know, sense the hollows or something?"

"I _could_, if I'd bothered paying attention to all the boring shit that academy tried to teach me instead of just kicking ass and taking names. What's the point in learning how to sense the fuckers when the pager does it for me?"

"Well," Ichigo began, obviously amused, "it certainly would've been handy now."

"This is your warning," Rukia told him. She continued as his face took on an alarmed look and he began rapidly muttering under his breath. "'Cause I'm too nice for my own good. Bakudou four-"

"Bakudou eight!" Ichigo snapped, one hand held out. "Repulse!"

"Crawling rope." A yellow rope of light flew out from Rukia's hand, zigzagging toward Ichigo in sharp angles. Most of it hit the shield in front of Ichigo's hand and bounced back at Rukia, losing power as it came back at her. She knocked it aside with her hand and the last of the spell fizzled into nothing before it could touch the ground. Meanwhile, a small portion of the original spell had gotten around Ichigo's shield and encircled him. He blinked and focused his power in the split second that his eyes were closed, and the yellow rope disappeared.

"I'm too gentle," Rukia said with a proud grin. "I'll have to take you our for a proper spar soon."

Ichigo looked pretty cheerful too, though he tried to hide it with his customary scowl. "Yeah?"

"Yep. I'll fling spells at you until you can completely avoid them, then I'll go after you with my sword until you can actually manage to beat me. Don't worry, I won't actually kill you. You're too weak to make me go all-out."

He snorted and turned back to his homework, obviously done with the conversation.

Rukia jumped out the window without a goodbye and quickly went to a far section of town where she knew a strange man lived. Following Aizen's death and the interrogation of Captain Ichimaru Gin, a lot of information had come out about various things. One of those things was that Urahara Kisuke, formerly the captain of the twelfth division, was innocent of charges of experimenting on hollows and his fellow shinigami. He and his accomplice, another former captain, had been found and offered the fifth and ninth divisions, but they'd both refused.

Upon assignment to guard Karakura Town, Rukia had been informed of the classified information that Urahara lived in the area, Shihouin Yoruichi had a tendency to visit, and she wasn't to speak to either of them or interfere in whatever they were doing.

_'__Yeah__, __fuck __that__,'_ Rukia thought as she jogged across the sky. _'__Shirayuki__?'_

_'__Your __idea __is __sound__,'_ her sword offered. _'__Be __polite__, __but __do __not __back __down__.'_

_'__Like __I __need __you __to __tell __me __that__.'_ But she felt better for having her sword back her up. Things always went better for Rukia when she and Sode no Shirayuki were in agreement.

She soon arrived at the small store that she'd been told to avoid. In the dusty area in front of the shop, a young boy with red hair and a girl slightly taller than him with a broom were arguing. They glanced at Rukia but continued even after she landed on the ground, so she ignored the kids and went around them.

The inside of the store looked pretty normal. A large man looked up when she entered. "Hello," Rukia said with a short bow. "I'm Abarai Rukia. I was hoping someone here could fix my pager."

"Let me take a look," said another man entering from the back of the store, yawning after he spoke. The top part of his head was shadowed by a brimmed hat and he was wearing mostly green rather than the standard shinigami uniform, but Rukia still recognized him from the picture she'd been shown - Urahara Kisuke. Rukia handed the pager over.

"Why'd you come here?" Urahara asked as the huge man who'd been stocking went into the back. "I'm sure your superiors told you to avoid this place."

"You used to be in charge of the Twelfth," she explained, watching as he examined the pager. "I figured if you could fix it, it would be like a hundred times faster than waiting for the creepy bastard or his people to get around to it."

"Mayuri's still running things?" He removed the battery and put it back in, just as Ichigo had. Apparently, some easy solutions were universal. It still didn't work.

"Him and his daughter, yeah. You got a verdict?"

"Thing's broken," Urahara told her cheerfully. "Tough luck. I can get you a new one for cheap, though!"

Rukia took a moment to blatantly examine Urahara. He took a fan out and began waving it at himself. His manner and demeanor were both easygoing, but there was a glint in his eye that made Rukia wary. "How cheap?" she finally asked.

"You get to test my new model! Just report back if anything goes wrong with it and I'll call us even."

"Another prototype," she muttered. "Great. Yeah, sure."

"Wonderful!" Urahara rummaged through a nearby box and pulled a nearly identical pager from it. Just as Rukia was about to take it from his hand, he pulled it back. Rukia forgot her original intention to be polite and scowled at his smile. "Sorry, one last thing. You only introduced yourself by name when you came in."

"Yeah, 'cause it's _my __name_."

"Why didn't you use your rank or division?"

"You're not a shinigami, I didn't think you'd care." His smile twisted slightly. "Anyway, it's not like it's important. The job's secondary to serving under Ken-sama."

Urahara held the pager out again and Rukia snatched it from his hand. "You're very even-tempered for a member of the Eleventh Division."

"You want a fight?" Rukia offered. It sure sounded like he was picking one. "I got a patrol to manage first, but I can swing by later, we can beat the shit out of each other."

"I'll take that as the polite invitation that I'm sure you meant for it to be," Urahara said mildly. He raised his fan in front of his face so that all she could see between the fan and hat were slivers of his eyes. "I'm sure I'll see you again eventually, Abarai Rukia."

"Sure, whatever. Catch you later, creeper." Rukia ignored his small huff of a laugh and walked back outside, where the kids were still fighting. Insofar as it could be called fighting, anyway; it was obvious neither of them would accidentally kill the other. She turned the pager on to check the hollow radar before she went back to Ichigo's, but what she saw on the screen made her curse and leap into the sky.

Once again, a hollow had found its way to the Kurosaki home.

* * *

Ichigo stood in the doorway to his room, staring down the creature that was half in, half out of the building. It was long and snakelike, with two smaller arms and a white mask with huge, gleaming teeth.

"This is exactly the sort of thing Rukia is supposed to be keeping _away __from __me_."

The hollow roared and struggled to move, but the yellow bands wrapped around it kept the creature firmly in place. Ichigo kept his hand out just in case, the beginning of the bakudou incantation on the tip of his tongue.

The only stroke of luck was that the rest of his family was out. All Ichigo had to do was wait for Rukia to finish whatever she was doing, maybe bind the hollow again if it managed to break free, and everything would be okay.

As long as Ichigo managed to keep the hollow tied up without getting eaten.

And as long as Rukia returned before his family did.

The hollow struggled, and the yellow line around it began to crack.

"Shit." Ichigo inhaled sharply before reciting the spell that Rukia had practically beaten into his head. "Thou wretched creation of man-"

"Kurosaki Ichigo!" the hollow screamed as the piece of yellow light that had been stretched across its mouth dissolved. "I will tear your soul from your flesh!"

Ichigo nearly asked, "_What__?_" aloud, but barely managed not to. It would have interrupted the spell. "Look upon your own visage and be paralyzed in terror! Be as a statue in contemplation!" The hollow tilted its head back, mouth open. "Bakudou four, crawling rope!"

A yellow light flashed out of his hand in a line, just as it had before, and encircled the hollow directly over where the previous spell had just barely been hanging on. With a piece of light stretched between its upper and lower teeth, the hollow was forced to swallow whatever it had been about to spit at Ichigo and could only scream in rage.

Knowing that he'd be able to refresh the spell without incident was good, but the spell took too long to recite. He'd have to keep a careful eye on the condition of the current spell so he didn't recast it too late. "Rukia, where are you?"

"First Dance!" he heard Rukia's growling voice cry out. He looked around wildly but couldn't see her. "White Moon!" The hollow turned to ice as she spoke the last syllable of the attack name. Rukia came in through the wall, passing through as if she was a ghost and solid matter couldn't touch her, and landed in front of the hollow, facing Ichigo. As soon as he feet touched the floor, she spun around, her sword gleaming white and a white ribbon trailing from the hilt in a graceful arc before the blade stabbed into the hollow's mask and shattered the creature into a million shining pieces of ice. She completed the spin without pause and turned to Ichigo once more, not even bothering to watch as the ice flew into the air and disappeared in a glimmering cloud of sparkles. "You okay?"

Ichigo nodded silently, mouth dropped open.

Rukia sighed, "Good," then gave Ichigo a disbelieving look as he lifted her from the ground by the front of her uniform.

"What the hell was that?" he demanded. "Where were you? How did that thing find me, how did it know my _name_, how- shit!" he yelled as Rukia smacked him in the head with the hilt of her sword. He dropped her and rubbed at his head. "What the hell was that for?"

"I was out getting my pager fixed, fucktard," Rukia explained calmly. Her tone was even despite the inclusion of cursing. "As soon as I turned the new one on and saw a hollow was here, I came straight here. All the way across town in _ten __fucking __seconds_, by the way, so don't give me any shit about taking my time. If it spoke to you, it probably knew you when it was alive, but now that it's been purified, you shouldn't have any fucking problems. Are you done whining, you little pussy?"

"No," Ichigo snapped, and belatedly remembered to add, "and I'm not a pussy. Clean up your mouth!"

"You can curse like I do when you're my age."

"Old woma- ow!"

"I got more of those where that came from," Rukia said, raising her sword warningly. "Don't bitch. Not that I'm in the habit of giving out praise, but... good job on the spell. I saw the ropes holding it when I arrived. It got here just after I left?"

"Yeah." Ichigo scowled and dropped to the floor, sitting cross-legged. "I had to cast the spell twice."

"That sounds about right for the power level you've been restricted to. Arms up." Rukia inspected both of the power limiters briefly and nodded. "They're fine. You didn't get hit? Don't give me any prideful shit, I can heal you as easy as breathing."

"Nah, I'm good."

"Awesome. I have to check the town perimeter, so-"

"Hold up," Ichigo interrupted. Rukia looked back to him and sheathed her sword. "I just wanted to say..." He took a deep breath and held up a hand when Rukia opened her mouth to say something scathing. "Shut up! Look, you could have just erased my memory back in August, or let the hollow eat me, or... I don't know, killed me and sent me on to Soul Society rather than bother with the limiters and teaching me and everything. I wouldn't have been able to stop you. But instead you've been teaching me and I was able to keep myself safe. More importantly, if the old man and the twins had been here, I would have been able to keep _them_ safe. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart." He bowed from his seated position so that his head nearly touched the floor.

Ichigo looked up just in time to see a deep blush cross Rukia's face just before she turned back to face the wall. "Idiot! I'm just doing it to entertain myself! You're just- ugh! Fuck!" Rather than her usual graceful leap through the window, Rukia stomped off through the wall.

Ichigo's stifled laughter followed her out.

* * *

Author's Notes: So! Here's the newest chapter, I'm sorry about the wait. I spent the beginning of this month trying to do the summer version of NaNo with a different fic, and... well, I got nowhere.

I'd like to mention first off that the long incantation to the crawling rope spell doesn't appear in the original manga, so I made it up. I hope it fits in with the weird sort of nearly-nonsense that the spells always sound like.

The original version of this chapter didn't include Urahara at all. Rather, Rukia tried to do a physical patrol and the crap sensing abilities she has in this universe meant that she only noticed Acidwire (the hollow name for Sora, Orihime's brother, who appears in this chapter,) far too late. Ichigo tried to hold Acidwire off when it attacked him, and the hollow fled to Orihime's apartment, where it killed her.

In the end, I decided that Rukia's inability to protect one of Ichigo's friends and Ichigo's own inability to do anything would make the story far more dramatic than I actually felt like writing.

Next chapter will either be a flashback or involve Ishida, I haven't decided. (Be warned - I don't think things are going to go well for Ishida, as he starts off in canon as kind of a prick and that's not the kind of shit this Rukia puts up with.) Once again, thank you very much to all my readers, and a special thank you to those who favorite and review this story. Double-super-thank-you to Erroneously, who has reviewed this story several times and was kind enough to review a oneshot that I recently posted! I appreciate all of you!


	10. Fighting for Fun and More Fun

**Rukia, age 128.**

* * *

_The __Quincy __population __has __been __carefully __monitored __over __the __years __to __make __sure __that __their __numbers __remain __low__. __Although __some __Quincy __do __continue __to __exterminate __hollows __rather __than __waiting __for __a __shinigami __to __purify __them__, __these __Quincy __do __so __sparingly __and __keep __a __low __profile __in __order __to __avoid __being __sent __on __to __the __Spirit __World__, which__is __the __punishment __for __hollow __extermination__._

"Carefully monitored," Rukia muttered as she flipped through the pages of the slim book on the Quincy-Shinigami War. "Are you going to tell me which division does the monitoring? No? Fuck you." She closed the book and stood up to go get the volume on division responsibilities from across the library when she ran into someone. Rukia stumbled back a step while the person in front of her remained unmoved. "I know that stupidly broad chest." Rukia looked up at her friend's face. "Hey Renji."

"Hey yourself. I've been looking for you all day."

"What, using the Yachiru-chan method of getting places? I've been here all day."

"I wasn't exactly expecting to find you in the library," Renji admitted with a smile. He was wearing the yukata that he usually wore to sleep, likely because it was his day off and Rukia made it her mission in life to destroy all of his casual clothes. The things he bought were _hideous_. The fact that even actually wore his sleepwear in public spoke volumes about his fashion sense, in Rukia's opinion.

Renji's neckline went deep, mostly due to his inability to properly tie the yukata, allowing Rukia to see a padded bandage across his chest. Rukia poked it just to be annoying. "New tattoo, huh? Don't tell me you searched high and low for me just to show it off."

"Nah, I wanted to tell you something. But first off, what the hell are you doing here?"

'Here' was the only semi-public library in Seireitei. It was only called semi-public because only shinigami and the nobility could use it, but then again, those were also the only people allowed in Seireitei, so the point was moot. The (Semi-Public) Grand Library hosted many books, mostly things that Rukia considered useless - nobility lineages, political histories and editorials, and records of the Central 46 meetings - but there were also some useful bits like hollow listings, old copies of the Monthly Seireitei Bulletin that the Ninth Division produced, and the giant tome that Rukia needed to find that described the countless responsibilities shinigami were given and which division handled what.

"Ken-sama told me to find him a decent enemy to fight," Rukia explained. "Which is fucking hard, as you know. He said if I don't find him someone good by sunset he's gonna break into Hueco Mundo and find a Vasto Lorde to beat down."

Renji sighed and scratched his forehead. "Of course he will."

Rukia crossed her arms across her chest and smirked. "He also said that if I saw you, I should tell you to come back for a spar so he can make sure being in the Sixth again hasn't made you into a wuss."

"I've only been back there for a month!" Renji complained.

"Yeah? And do you train as much there as you did in the Eleventh?"

"_Anyway_," Renji said loudly, only making Rukia's smirk grow wider, "I came to let you know one of my subordinates has been talking shit about you."

"Seriously? What the fuck does some little Sixth Division bastard care about me?"

Renji shrugged and absently reached up to pull his yukata back into place when it slid off one shoulder. "Jealousy? I overheard her going on about how you were trying to get another division curled around your little finger, what with me transferring and how Byakuya tries to spoil you whenever you let him."

"'Another' division?" Rukia asked incredulously. "Man, I guess I'm buddies with Yumi and Ikkaku, but Ken-sama pretty much treats me like everyone else and playing with Yachiru-chan's practically babysitting."

"Kenpachi-sama trusts you with the paperwork," Renji pointed out.

Rukia eyed him and responded flatly, "Yeah, I'm honored."

"Right, so, Sixth Seat Senjou was talking crap and your other brother and me ended up overhearing. He was gonna give her a talking to, but I managed to talk him into letting you have first shot. Said it was a personal attack against a member of a different division and you should be allowed to handle it."

"Nice!" Rukia punched Renji in the chest, right over his bandage, and was mildly disappointed that he didn't even flinch. "Ken-sama can pick fights with hollows all he wants, I've got a seated officer to beat down. What's Senjou look like?"

"Your size, hair my color, boobs about half the size of Rangiku's."

Renji didn't continue. Rukia arched an eyebrow and said, "That's your idea of a description?"

"Don't give me that look, that's the same one Captain Kuchiki gives me. It's fucking eerie."

"This _is _a chick we're talking about, right? Not some huge guy with man-boobs?"

"Ugh."

Rukia smiled at Renji's disgusted expression and she asked cheerfully, "Now you're imagining a dude Senjou with man-boobs, aren't you?"

"I _hate_ you."

"Come on, Firehead. If we don't hurry, she might piss off someone else and die and then I'll _never_ get to fight her."

"It'd be a fucking tragedy," Renji muttered, hand covering part of his face as he followed Rukia out of the library.

Thanks to the fact that Yachiru's sense of direction wasn't actually contagious, Rukia arrived at the Sixth Division in no time at all. She was dismayed to note that Renji's clothing choice got no reaction at all from the people who greeted him. "I mentioned on the way here that you can't pick clothes for shit, right?"

"Twice."

"Awesome. That her?" Rukia asked, pointing at a female redhead a little taller than her.

Renji peered in that direction. "Of course not, she's not much bigger than you." Rukia stomped on his foot. "Ow, what the hell! You're both short!"

Rukia replied icily, "That wasn't the 'bigger' you were talking about, and we both know it."

They walked through the Sixth Division's hallways a little longer until Renji stopped and gestured at a door at the end of the hallway. "That's her office, she ought to be in there this time of day. I'll head out so it doesn't look like you brought the Third Seat to threaten her with."

"I will _beat __you_ with the third seat if you don't shut up about your promotion," Rukia promised.

"I got in my bragging for the day," Renji said easily, "I'm good. Try not to wreck the building or I'll make you do the budget report." He left with a wave of his hand.

Rukia walked down to the door and knocked on it. A sweet voice answered, "Just one moment, please." The door opened to reveal a woman who was _exactly_ Rukia's height, with hair that was precisely Renji's color and breasts that were, if Rukia was forced to make an educated guess, precisely half the size of Matsumoto Rangiku's massive knockers. Renji's reports after missions had always been lacking but were never inaccurate. Senjou was otherwise average looking.

"Tenth Seat Abarai of the Eleventh," said Senjou. Her tone of voice was decidedly duller than it had been a moment ago. "Can I... help you?"

"Heard you were talking shit about me," Rukia said cheerfully. "I wanted to give you a chance to let it all out." When Senjou remained silent, Rukia waved a 'come here' gesture. "Go ahead, I won't interrupt."

After another moment of silence, Senjou spat, "Fine. You want to know what I think of you? I think you're a manipulative bitch who only gets anywhere by 'acting like one of the boys' instead of actually being a proper woman. I don't even want to _think_ about what you must have done to rise so far in rank in an almost entirely male division. And then as if _that__'__s_ not good enough, you have _my_ captain wrapped around your little finger, and then send your brother, _another_ disgusting specimen from the Eleventh, over here to take a seat that should have gone to someone who's actually from the Sixth. You deserve to be sent back to Rukongai where you _really_ belong."

"So basically..." Rukia drawled, "I act like a man, but also a whore, you think the fact that your family's lesser nobility makes you better than me, and you're bitter that you got passed up for promotion."

"_What__?_ I sad no such-"

"And you're in love with Byakuya-nii-chan," Rukia added thoughtfully. "I personally don't see the appeal, but that's probably a good thing considering I think of him as a brother."

Senjou's face turned a light shade of purple, which Renji probably would have thought to mention if he had ever seen it. "You _bitch_," she seethed. "I should kill you where you stand!"

"That's the spirit!" Rukia hopped back a few steps and drew her sword, which was currently humming with approval for the way Rukia had verbally cut the other woman down.

"What," Senjou sputtered, "what are you-?"

"That was a challenge if I ever heard one. Come on, draw your zanpakutou!"

"She's right," a man in uniform said from down the hall, behind Rukia. Rukia glanced around and saw that the tongue-lashing had actually drawn a small crowd. "What you said constitutes a challenge to a duel."

Senjou paled. "Lieutenant Shirogane..."

"I'd prefer it if you fought outside, Abarai-san, Senjou-san."

"Eh, I guess." Rukia sheathed Sode no Shirayuki and nodded at Senjou. "Lead the way, princess."

Senjou's face turned from purple to red. "Fine! I'm four seats higher than you; if you want to die, you have a right to choose me as the method."

"I promise not to haunt you in the unlikely event that I die from tripping over my own feet and onto your sword."

Senjou emitted a wordless sound of rage and stomped off down the hallway. Rukia followed along behind her at an easy pace with Shirogane walking alongside her.

In the Sixth Division's training grounds, Rukia spotted Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Renji walking closer and waved to them with a big smile. Senjou looked over at them and sniffed loudly.

"Yo, Rukia!" Ikkaku shouted until he drew near enough to speak normally. "Renji grabbed us to come watch you."

"No good fights going on back at our place?" Rukia asked.

Yumichika shook his head with a smile as Ikkaku took a long swig of sake from the jug he always carried around. "No. The captain tried to find someone to fight with after you left, so most of them are in the Fourth Division's tender care."

"Yeah? You guys look all right."

"Told him we hadn't really improved since we fought him last week," Ikkaku said.

"They wussed out," Renji translated.

Yumichika stifled a chuckle as Ikkaku huffed, "Man, I just got away from Unohana two days ago. I'm not fucking going back there."

"Are we fighting, or gossiping?" Senjou called nastily from across the dirt circle.

"Excuse me, I gotta teach a bitch a lesson," Rukia told her friends. A dozen or so people gathered about twenty feet away from where they stood - the people from the hallway, who wanted to watch the match.

She jogged over to the opposite edge of circle from Senjou. Shirogane stood off to the side and called out loud enough for everyone to hear, "I will act as referee for this match. The match today is between Sixth Seat Senjou Hitomi of the Sixth Division and Tenth Seat Abarai Rukia of the Eleventh Division, to settle their differences. Rules are as follows: zanpakutou must remain in their sealed forms. Kidou may be used. The loser of this match will keep their grievances to themselves."

"We like to say, 'Put up or shut up!'" Ikkaku hollered.

Shirogane sighed. "Thank you, Third Seat Madarame."

"Hey, no problem!"

"If anyone else would like to interject? No? Well then..." Shirogane raised his arm into the air, held it there for a few seconds, and abruptly slashed downward. "Begin!"

Rukia rushed forward as soon as she had the go-ahead, eager to get into the fight. She drew her sword as she rushed forward and ducked down, as if she was going to slash low. Senjou prepared to guard from the front to avoid the attack, but at the last second, Rukia used shunpo to move flash-quick to Senjou's upper right. Most of the people Rukia was used to fighting had plenty of energy to expend and would have jumped up to avoid the apparent low blow, and therefore wound up right in the middle of Rukia attack; because Senjou chose to only block, she was able to jerk back and only received a shallow cut to the shoulder instead of the deeper slice Rukia had been aiming for.

Rukia continued to use shunpo, darting around Senjou's body and slicing out every time. Senjou barely moved her feet, only stepping when she absolutely had to in order to avoid a blow, but she was still able to block, parry, or completely nearly all of avoid Rukia's attacks. The contemptuous look was gone from the redhead's dark eyes, replaced by a steady, concentrated stare of intent. "Got you," Senjou said suddenly, and moved her sword; Rukia darted behind Senjou to try to get in another strike and had to leap back to avoid getting stabbed in the gut. As it was, Rukia still felt the point of the sword pierce her skin before she could get away.

Rukia took half a moment to breathe before chanelling spirit energy to her feet again and twisting around Senjou to attack from the front. As she moved forward, Senjou's sword twisted around and sliced upward, in front. Rukia stopped at Senjou's side and ended up sliding forward in the sand from the abrupt stop. If she'd completed the move she'd intended to make, Senjou might have sliced off her head.

She recovered her balance and watched Senjou for a few seconds, frowning. Senjou merely waited, her sword at the ready, her face calm.

The frown broke into a smile. "You figured out my pattern of movements," Rukia accused cheerfully.

"Yes," said Senjou, still placid, like the waters of a still pond. "You should forfeit before you get hurt."

"Nah, I'll just step it up. Hadou 31!" Senjou, who had probably assumed that she was safe staying where she was because Rukia only had her sealed sword and the Eleventh Division was rumored to hate kidou, suddenly looked concerned and readied herself to dodge. Rukia's palm faced outward, a ball of red light forming in its center as she aimed it towards Senjou. "Red Fire Cannon!" At the last second, Rukia's hand moved, hopefully toward wherever Senjou decided to dodge to.

It was a lucky shot - Senjou took the blast full in the chest. Rukia rushed forward to get in a strike while her opponent was hurt and disoriented, choosing to jump up at the last second and slice down at Senjou's torso. The redheaded woman got her sword up just in time, but the block was weak and obviously jarred Senjou's arm. Rukia snapped her leg down to kick against Senjou's shoulder, then pushed back up with her leg to flip backwards.

In the middle of her flip, seen too late to move out of the way, Senjou's sword thrust forward, shaky but quick, and sliced a vertical line up Rukia's torso as she fell. All Senjou had to do was keep her sword in place and relatively still, and gravity pulled Rukia down across it.

At the first touch of ground, Rukia pulled her body backwards. She'd only meant to jump, but the first bit of exertion caused pain to flare up along her abdomen and chest, sending her falling and tumbling back.

"This fight is done," Senjou said through gritted teeth. Her left shoulder, the one Rukia had kicked, appeared flattened. Senjou's arm hung limply from the injured shoulder and her breaths was short and forced.

Rukia's chest felt wet. When she looked down, she saw blood soaking the front of her clothing. The cut was wet and Rukia couldn't actually see how deep it went, but it felt bad. Her vision was already starting to blur. "No," she called out, as loud as she could.

Shirogane said something from his spot on the side, but Rukia didn't really care. She began muttering to herself, vaguely recognizing Ikkaku's voice now entwined in conversation with Shirogane's.

"You're beaten," Senjou told Rukia. "_Give __up_." Rukia continued muttering.

Senjou huffed and started to slowly walk off.

_That__'__s __not __acceptable__. __The __fight__'__s __not __over__. __The __fight__'__s __not __over__!_

_Give her fair warning__,_ Rukia's sword suggested. Rukia nodded, her vision blurring so much that she only recognized Senjou as a spot of red hair above her black uniform. Senjou's form stretched, too high, and spots formed as Rukia yelled, "Hadou 88! Flying Dragon-Striking Heaven-Shaking," _Shit__, __even__after__that__fucking__incantation__, __the__spell__'__s__name__is__too__long__!_ "Thunder Cannon!"

The black spots overtook Rukia's vision and she collapsed.

When she awoke, it was to her usual bed in the Fourth Division. Rukia made some pitiful noises that she would have denied if ever asked about and sat up. "Hana-kun?"

No one answered. Rukia took a few slow, deep breaths before yelling, "HANA-KUN!"

A young shinigami with fairly good looks and a harried demeanor rushed in as Rukia started whining, "Ow, ow, that _hurt_..."

"Rukia-san, you should be careful," Hanatarou said fretfully. "Lay down."

Rukia obeyed and Hanatarou's hands moved deftly over the bandages covering her entire torso, checking to make sure they were tight enough without being too tight. "Enjoy it," Rukia muttered, wincing once when his hands brushed over her injury. "It's as close to a woman's chest as you'll ever get until you toughen up."

Most of Rukia's friends would have made a comment about how her flat chest didn't count at all, but Hanatarou only gave her a despondent sigh. "I wish you wouldn't bully me like that."

"Has anyone else been bullying you?" she demanded.

"No, just you."

"Then it's an improvement, isn't it?" Even though Yamada Hanatarou was a Seventh Seat, it was he was in the Fourth Division, which was known for healers rather than fighters, and he had a weak personality that made people want to take advantage of him. Rukia had appropriated him as her personal healer several years ago by insisting that he was the only one to take care of her and beating the shit out of anyone she heard disparaging him, even if she was bleeding all over the Fourth Division's floor from prior injuries when it happened. As far as Rukia was concerned, she had a little leeway when it came to how she treated Hanatarou.

Besides, she wasn't really _bullying _him. She just teased him a little. It wasn't her fault he couldn't manage to tease her back.

Hanatarou's only response was another sigh. "Even after the initial and in-depth healings, you needed sixty stitches."

"Nice!" said Rukia, impressed.

"Is it? Well, if you manage not to strain yourself, and if you heal yourself in your spare time like you usually do, I can probably remove them in a week. You'll just reopen the wound if you fight like this, so please don't."

"Sure."

Hanatarou looked at her in a way that implied he wouldn't believe her if she said the sky was blue and the grass was green. "Right. The rest of your cuts were minor and fixed during the initial healing, and the organ damage was fixed during the in-depth healing. Senjou Hitomi-san," he continued, aware that everyone in the Eleventh Division wanted to know how badly they'd hurt their opponent, "was treated for a broken shoulder bone and several minor cuts. She'll be in a sling to keep her arm and shoulder immobile for a while. Abarai Renji-san was treated for minor electrical burns and fully healed."

"Renji? What the hell happened to him?"

"You electrocuted him," Senjou said flatly. She had entered the doorway when Rukia wasn't looking. True to what Hantarou had said, Senjou was wearing a shoulder sling.

"I have to get to my next patient. I'll be back in a bit with your dismissal papers."

"Yeah, see you Hana-kun," Rukia said absently as she thought back. She remembered sending the spell at Senjou, of course... but she could only see blurs of color at that point, and... Renji's hair was the exact same shade as Senjou's. "Huh. Shit. Couldn't have been too bad, though, if he's already fixed."

"It's amazing you even got the spell to work with how much blood you had lost," Senjou said. "It was pretty weak. And what's with that spell, anyway? I thought no one in the Eleventh Division used kidou at all, let alone the number 88 destruction spell!"

"Ken-sama says kidou are stupid and slow, but if I can make it work then I should," Rukia said matter-of-factly. "So I do, when I have a spare second to jabber during the fight instead of cutting people."

"Ken-sama? Your captain lets you get away with calling him that?" Senjou seemed to be getting a little riled up.

"Why shouldn't I? 'Kenpachi' means he's the strongest, and Yachiru-chan calls him 'Ken-chan', but she's closer to him than I am."

"And you call your lieutenant by her first name too! What the hell is wrong with you!"

Rukia blinked and said slowly, "If you want to fight, it'll have to wait a few days until my stitches come out, or Hana-kun will whine and give me his bitch face."

"I do not have a bitch face," Hanatarou whined as he passed by in the hallway outside her room.

"It's the face you're making right now," Rukia informed him loudly, and winced at the strain it put on her chest.

Senjou's expression, when Rukia looked at it, was exasperated. "I don't _get_ you. But I'll admit... that you're not weak. Good job today."

Rukia smiled at her. "Hey, you too. The way you had your sword there before I could get out of the way was great! Maybe if we fight some more, I can figure out how you do it."

"It's just intuition." Senjou folded her arms across her chest. "Once I get a handle on how my opponent fights, I can predict their movements. It took a little while with you because your shunpo's so good, I couldn't always see how you moved."

Renji poked his head into the room. "Hey, am I interrupting your bonding time?"

"We- we're not-!" Senjou stuttered while Rukia said cheerfully, "Yeah, but come in anyway."

"If there's one thing my time in the Eleventh taught me, it's that a good fight brings two people closer together."

"And that Ken-sama is god," Rukia added.

"Nah, I knew that already."

"Third Seat!" Senjou exclaimed, appalled. "How can you say something like that about someone else's captain? Captain Kuchiki is _far_ superior."

"Fuck that!" Rukia yelled, ignoring her the pain across her torso. "Ken-sama could totally take him!"

"You'd say that about your own brother?"

"The truth is the truth! Ken-sama could beat nii-chan any day of the week!"

"Ladies," Renji said calmly, his hands raised in a peacekeeping gesture. "The solution is obvious."

"Yeah?" Senjou and Rukia asked rudely.

Renji grinned. "We have to find a reason for them to have a match."

"Fuck yeah!" Rukia exclaimed.

Senjou seemed excited for a few seconds until she abruptly remembered herself. "You two are insane," she groaned. "I'm leaving before I catch it."

"See you, Senjou-chan! Let's fight again next week!"

"You're so weird," Senjou complained. "Look, you can call me Hitomi. I have to go figure out how the hell I'm going to work with a busted shoulder."

After she left, Renji turned to Rukia slowly, staring at her before thrusting his hands down and into her hair, delivering a noogie. "This is for electrocuting me!"

"It was an accident!" Rukia yelped, torn between pain, annoyance, and laughter. "You waited until your minion was gone, that's so cheap! Hadou 31-"

"In the hospital!" Renji yelped, jumping back.

"Red Fire Cannon!"

* * *

Author's Notes: THIS TOOK SO LONG TO GET OUT. I would have finish it sooner but I took a while to actually write the fight scene. I'm not very confident in my ability to write them, so I kept putting it off until I realized most of a month had passed by since my last update, and then I felt bad.

I know I said Ishida would show up soon, but I decided to make sure Rukia was familiar with the Quincy first. That... somehow led into the rest of this chapter. This very long chapter. The longest chapter I have written thus far. Guh.

As always, thank you to everyone reading this, and I'm especially grateful to those who favorite this story and review. Every one of you makes me extremely happy.


	11. Enter the Quincy, Part 1

WARNING: This chapter has a minor cliffhanger at the end. It's nothing terribly dramatic, but the event taking place is not resolved by the end of the chapter. It will be finished with the next chapter, so if you want to read it all at once, please wait until the next update. Thanks!

* * *

**October, 2001.**

* * *

**BEEP BEEP BEEP.**

Ichigo's eyelids scrunched down hard before he blearily opened them.

**BEEP BEE-**

He opened his mouth to shout at Rukia, who was currently living in his closet, when the beeping suddenly stopped. With the problem solved, no intervention necessary, Ichigo closed his eyes again and fell back asleep.

It happened again the next morning as Ichigo pulled on his pants. He didn't worry about Rukia poking her head out from the closet as he dressed every morning - she stayed up late to patrol, since most hollow attacks occurred at night, so she was rarely awake when he left for school in the morning.

**BEEP BEEP BEEP.**

"Shit!" he heard Rukia yelp from behind the closet door. There was further low cursing as she moved around. Ichigo quickly finished securing his belt and just finished pulling on an undershirt when the closet door opened and Rukia tumbled out.

"Can't you just-" Ichigo started as Rukia sat up and scowled at her phone, and he'd intended to finish with, 'walk through the door,' when her phone stopped beeping. Rukia looked surprised. "Didn't that happen last night?" Ichigo asked, dimly remembering the moment he'd woken up. "Maybe a hollow... popped in, then left again?"

"It takes a lot of energy to get to the living world from Hueco Mundo," Rukia said as she thumped the side of the phone several times. "Hollows almost never go back unless they've eaten, or they're hurt. And it takes a full minute at the very least to devour a soul, so it's not like it just ate someone and ran."

"What's Hueco Mundo?"

"What? Oh, that's where the hollows mostly live. Plus souls in Seireitei, minus souls in hell, hollows in hueco mundo."

"Huh." Rukia had mentioned plus and minus souls the day he met her - along with some really crappy drawings to illustrate the description - but he hadn't known they all actually lived in different places. "Maybe your phone's broken?" he offered.

"Pager," Rukia corrected. "I'll take it back to Urahara-san's, I guess."

"It's not a pager," Ichigo told her with a frown, "it's a phone."

"Bullshit. Telephones have cords."

Ichigo grabbed his own cell phone from the desk. "I don't know the last time you were in the living world," he drawled, "but this is a cell phone. They make calls without cords. All the number buttons on your phone are so you can make _telephone calls_."

"Bullshit!" Rukia repeated excitedly. "That's amazing! How do I make calls?"

Ichigo took the phone from her and exited out of the hollow alert program. The map disappeared, but a small bar at the bottom of the phone remained, with the words, 'No Hollows Currently Detected,' in tiny, bold print. Ichigo easily located the phone book, which only had 'Urahara Shop' as the single contact. He quickly added in his own name and number, then called his own phone to get Rukia's number. Rukia snatched her phone back and held it to her ear. "Hello?"

Ichigo answered his phone with a smile. "Hey."

"I heard your voice from this thing. It _is _a telephone!"

Rukia's childlike enthusiasm made Ichigo grin broadly. "I'll show you how to text when I get back, that'll really blow your mind."

"Ichi-nii!" Yuzu called from downstairs. "You're going to be late if you don't hurry!"

Ichigo glanced at the clock and swore. He finished getting dressed, grabbed his bag and phone, and practically flew downstairs, not even stopping to punch his father when the man tried to give him an enthusiastic and unwanted hug. That's not to say that Ichigo just took the attack, of course, only that he didn't slow down while slamming a fist into his father's gut. Ichigo yelled goodbye to his sisters and set off at a run towards school.

Ichigo was hurrying into the school building with five minutes left to get to class when his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and saw Rukia's name on the display just before he ran into someone. Years of martial arts training helped him keep his balance without falling over, but his phone fell out of his hand. The guy he bumped into was able to stay on his feet as well. "Sorry man," Ichigo said. He was about to bend over and grab his phone when the other guy did it first.

He held out his hand to get the phone back, but the weedy-looking boy flipped open the phone and answered it instead. "Please refrain from calling students during school hours," he said, and closed the phone again. The boy placed the phone in Ichigo's still-outstretched hand and walked off.

There was only one option. Well, technically there were several, including starting a fight over the skinny guy's incredible rudeness, but Ichigo did try to avoid fighting on school grounds and class was starting in four minutes. He gave up on the idea of yelling at the little snot and went to his classroom instead.

Lunchtime came, and he, Chad, Keigo, and Mizuiru all settled on the roof to eat. Mizuiru was talking about his latest conquest - a college student, on the younger side of Mizuiru's preferred age range - while Keigo whined about his own lack of a girlfriend and Chad silently worked his way through his lunch. Through the metal fence, Ichigo could see the front of the school grounds, where a lot of the female students ate their own lunch. One of the groups had Tatsuki, Inoue, and two other girls from his class who were holding back Honshou from lunging at Inoue with grasping hands. As Ichigo watched, Honshou broke free of the other girls and almost made it to Inoue, but was stopped by Tatsuki slamming an elbow into the top of her head.

Ichigo's almost perpetual scowl smoothed out a bit. Chad noticed and followed his gaze, then said quietly, "You should spend some more time with Tatsuki-san."

"Yeah. You too, I'm sorry I haven't been available lately."

Chad's shoulders shrugged minutely, his own, quiet way of saying it was okay. Ichigo felt sort of bad for blowing his friends off, but he never felt like doing anything except sleeping after one of Rukia's 'training sessions'. He'd just have to ask her if they could take a break once in a while so Ichigo could have a social life.

"Oh yeah," Ichigo murmured, pulling out his phone. He'd turned it to silent before class started, and the screen helpfully informed him that he had 34 new messages.

'uraharasan says my phone is working perfectly he taught me how to text'

'im sorry if i got you into trouble at school ichigo D:'

'Oh, this is how you capitalize and punctuate! :D Truly, this phone is a magnificent invention! XD'

'Urahara-san thanked me for the compliment and informed me that he receives a copy of every text and phone call I make, because this is his prototype. o_O Henceforth, Urahara-san shall be known as Creeper-san. -_-;'

And so on. Ichigo smirked as he scrolled through the messages. "Why am I not surprised she figured out how to make smilies before she realized she could use the punctuation?"

"What's this? Has Ichigo betrayed me by getting a girlfriend too!" Ichigo raised his phone above his head, higher than Keigo could reach, before his friend could swipe it. Keigo pouted in response, then wailed, "ICHIGO!"

"Shut the hell up!" Ichigo growled.

"Someone's looking at you," Chad murmured.

Ichigo looked down to the ground and saw the skinny guy with glasses from earlier in the day staring up at them. He got the feeling that the other guy was glaring, though he was too far off to actually see properly. Ichigo waved his phone in the air in response, dodged Keigo's attempt to tackle him, and pocketed his phone. He grabbed Keigo's collar with his free hand before his friend's face could hit the fence as he fell. "Hey, who's that?"

"Hm?" Ichigo turned the collar in the direction of the glasses guy, and Keigo obediently turned his head and looked. "Oh, that's Ishida Uryuu. He's kind of popular with the girls for being good at sewing and stuff, but he's pretty cold, so no girls for him! Why?"

"No reason."

"Huh? Really? 'Cause you sound awfully- umf!" Ichigo dropped Keigo unceremoniously and let his face hit the ground. "That's just cruel, Ichigo! What will all the hotties do when they see my injured face?"

Mizuiro snorted as he texted someone on his phone. "The same thing they did before - avoid you like the plague."

"You guys are the worst!"

With Keigo distracted, Ichigo pulled his phone back out to text a reply to Rukia. Before he could even select her name from the address book, he heard something heavy crash nearby, on the school grounds, and the roof shook slightly.

"Whoa, an earthquake?" Keigo yelped.

"Didn't you guys hear that noise?" Ichigo demanded. His friends, who were all on their way to the door back into the school, paused and looked back at him, "What noise?" Mizuiro asked.

The heavy, thudding sound came again, and this time Ichigo saw something white from the corner of his eye. He turned and gripped the edge of the fence when he saw the hollow at the edge of the school grounds. Its left arm was skinny and looked underdeveloped next to its stout body, but in contrast, its right arm was _over_developed - the right arm looked like a huge hammer, at least as big as the hollow's torso, and every swing it made hit the ground and caused a tremor to run through the surrounding area, including the school building.

_Can I get the hollow with a spell from here?_ Ichigo wondered. _And what the hell is it doing, anyway?_

Just as he considered trying to use kidou against the thing and risk attracting its attention, the hollow let out a piercing howl that made Ichigo wince, even with the distance between him and the creature. That's when he saw the figure that the hollow was trying, unsuccessfully, to kill and eat.

Chad stood next to Ichigo. "You see something?" he asked.

"Yeah." Ichigo's hand clenched on the fence tightly enough to make his palm sting. He ignored the pain.

A bright flash of light shot out from the figure's hands and pierced the hollow's chest. It let out another cry and fell to the ground, writhing for a moment before it died. The figure's attacks never touched the hollow's mask.

"Will you need help?"

"I have someone else to hand the problem off to."

The figure looked over to the school roof, and even at that distance, Ichigo recognized the person and knew that he could see Ichigo staring.

Ishida Uryuu.

The students who had been outside for lunch had all moved to the edge of the school grounds and away from the building, as they'd been taught during the earthquake drills. Ishida joined the group smoothly.

"Ichigo!" Mizuiro called from the doorway. "Everything okay?"

"Edge of the roof isn't the safest place to be during an earthquake, man!" called Keigo.

"I'm fine," Ichigo called back with a short wave. Rukia fell from the sky and landed neatly on top of the fence. "Chad, you head back inside with the guys. There shouldn't be any more tremors." Chad nodded and walked over to the door. Keigo protested and yelped about how he wanted to find out what the hell was going on, but Chad moved steadily forward and herded Keigo back inside. The door shut behind him.

"Did you see it?" Rukia asked as she jumped down and landed in front of Ichigo. "I was messing with my pag- I mean, my phone, when the alert sounded, so I got a look at where the hollow was on the map before it disappeared."

"Yeah. A guy from my class killed it without ever touching its mask."

"_What?_"

"And the fight must've taken at least thirty seconds," Ichigo pressed. "Didn't you say you can cross town in ten?"

"That's not important!" Ichigo stepped back, wary of Rukia's angry face. She'd never yelled at him before. "Ichigo, are you absolutely sure that the hollow was defeated without the mask being broken or cut?"

"Ye- yeah. I saw the end of the fight. What's wrong?"

Rukia explained, her expression angry and horrified as she told him how Ishida was actually destroying someone's soul, denying it the chance to enter Soul Society and eventually be reborn in the living world. Ichigo's own face started to mirror hers - all he could think about was his mother, her soul eaten and forever gone. "He's just as fucking bad as a hollow!"

"I'll go talk to him after your classes let out," said Rukia. "There's a chance that he doesn't understand what he's doing."

"I'll go with you," Ichigo said, determined.

Rukia shook her head. "I can't rule out that he'd attack me, and you don't have any offensive powers. I'll teach you some destructive kidou soon."

"I can hang back," Ichigo insisted. "Or if he comes near me, I'll use that thing you were talking about, the reverse casting." Once Ichigo passed his next 'test' - really just Rukia attacking like crazy and him dodging and casting binding spells to stop her - she had promised to teach him how to use the name of the spell first to weakly bind an opponent, then recite the incantation afterwards to strengthen the spell before his enemy could break it.

"You don't even know how yet." Her tone was rude and demeaning, but there was a smile playing at the edge of her mouth.

"You're a good teacher, I'm sure I can manage it if I need to." Ichigo hated resorting to flattery, but Rukia had made it clear she was honestly proud of his progress and incredibly pleased with herself for teaching him. Reminding her always gave her a goofy grin.

Sure enough, a smile shone through on her face before she turned around to hide it from him. "F-fine! But I want you to promise you won't talk to him for the rest of the day, and you won't do anything when _I_ talk to him unless he actually attacks you. Okay?"

"Sure, promise."

The door to the roof opened and Mizuiro stuck his head out. "Hey, the teachers said it's safe to evacuate. They're going to send us home and check over the building for damage."

"Great, thanks."

"I told Misato-sensei you were skipping class so she wouldn't come looking for you," Mizuiro continued. "You might want to avoid her on your way out."

"Ugh." Misato never went looking for students who ran off, but she always berated them in front of the class when they came back. "Right, thanks."

Ichigo looked to Rukia. "I'll wait for you outside," she promised before leaping into the air and off the side of the building. He sighed and started walking to the door back into the school. Mizuiro stood in his way, his face somber. "That a ghost you were looking at?"

Ichigo shrugged and waited. "Something like that."

"And you're actually friendly with it?"

The almost-perpetual wrinkles in Ichigo's forehead smoothed out slightly. "Yeah," he answered honestly.

Mizuiro smiled back. "Just don't forget about your living friends, okay?"

"I know, I'll have more time for you guys soon." Ichigo's frown returned. "But there's something important I have to take care of right now."

"Sure." Mizuiro moved out of the way, pulling a phone out of his pocket as he did so. "Good luck," he said, holding out his left hand as he looked down at the screen of his phone.

Ichigo slapped the hand as he passed by and hurried downstairs to meet Rukia.

* * *

Author's Notes: And that's the chapter! I'd planned on resolving the Ishida thing in one chapter, but it was taking too long for me to write and I felt bad about not having updated in a while. Sorry about the two-parter.

If you really like Ishida... next chapter may not be the one for you? The idea that he's actually destroying the souls is kind of horrifying, guys. Well, I'll get into that in the next chapter, which should be from Rukia's point of view.

Random side note: Rukia uses English emoticons and not Japanese ones because I'm more familiar with the former. Also, I'm not personally familiar with earthquake procedures, but the internet mostly seemed to say: stay basically where you are, don't go outside if you're inside or vice versa, and get under something sturdy if you're inside or away from trees if you're outside. Obviously, it wasn't an actual earthquake, but no one knew that other than Ichigo. If I wrote something that seems really wrong, please let me know.

As always, thank you very much to everyone who reads, reviews, favorites, or does any combination of the three. It makes me giddy to see positive responses!


	12. Enter the Quincy, Part 2

THIS IS THE SECOND AND FINAL PART OF THIS CHAPTER. If you chose not to read the last chapter because I said it wouldn't be resolved at the end, you can go back and read it now, and then read this part.

* * *

"Finished!" Rukia exclaimed as she signed off on one final form. A snap of her fingers brought the hell butterfly assigned to her fluttering into view. The butterflies used to be trained birds, until the Twelfth Division decided that they could make something better. They created fake birds that stayed near their assigned shinigami and sang whatever kind of music their original programmer was fond of. After a week of constant complaints about the terrible music, the Twelfth recalled the 'hell birds' and released 'hell butterflies', which were inconspicuous and, best of all, _silent_.

Rukia pointed down at her paperwork. "Take these to Fifth Seat Yumichika of the Eleventh Division," she said, being careful to enunciate properly. Her files had been misplaced more than once because she couldn't be bothered to speak clearly. The butterfly flew down to the stack of papers, opened its tiny mouth, and sucked them all in. It fluttered in the air for a few seconds, as if digesting the sudden meal, then disappeared from sight as it made its way back to Soul Society.

It had been a thoroughly productive day. Although Rukia still wasn't sure what the hell was going on with the hollows in the area, or even if it was just one hollow being a nuisance, Urahara had assured her that the phone was working properly and even taught her how to text.

"And while I'm thinking of it!" Rukia whipped her phone out - _A __mobile __phone__, __humans __are __so __incredible __to __think __of __such __things__! _- and started a new text message as she walked out of Ichigo's room, which she frequently used as an office when he wasn't home.

'Finished my paperwork. v^_^v,' she texted as she walked down the stairs. The children were all at school and the clinic was deserted, for once, so the house was quiet. Rukia considered watching the TV, but as she entered the living room, she saw Kurosaki Isshin passed out on the couch. He'd been up late with a sudden influx of patients, some of whom had had to be redirected to the hospital. Although she wasn't supposed to interfere with the Living World, Rukia had gone into the clinic portion of the Kurosaki home and used a little of her healing abilities on the worst cases, just enough to make sure they were transferred to the hospital safely. _I__'__ve __broken __enough __rules __with __Ichigo __anyway__, __what__'__s __one __more__?_

"No TV, I guess," Rukia murmured, her finger poised over the send button. She pressed down just as text disappeared and the hollow alert screen popped up; the press of the button cut off the obnoxious beeping that usually accompanied the alerts before it could even start. Rukia sent spirit energy into her legs to prepare for shunpo as she examined the map.

The dot was right over Ichigo's high school.

"Fuck!" Rukia yelled.

She almost left before it happened. Just before she set off running, Rukia noticed Isshin turn over in his sleep as if he'd heard the noise. "No foul language in the house, Karin-chan," Isshin muttered in his sleep, to Rukia's amazement. "Be more of a..." He drifted off, curled up and facing the back of the couch, still sound asleep.

_What__. __The __hell__._

It was a fact within the Kurosaki household that Isshin couldn't see, hear, or otherwise sense spirits. Ichigo's abilities were the most developed, to the point where he could see hollows and shinigami, where were both on the high end of the spiritual spectrum. Karin could see spirits, which were more of a mid-point, and Yuzu could sense the presence of spirits but only saw them as blurry shapes, and couldn't hear them at all. Rukia had always assumed that their mother had been highly spiritually aware - Rukia knew Masaki had been eaten by a hollow, after all, although she didn't know the intimate details of her death.

But here was Isshin, who had obviously heard Rukia speak - his abilities were _at__least_ stronger than Karin's. Even so, he claimed to be unable to sense spirits, and went so far as to lament that his lack of abilities kept him separated from some of his children's conversations. He'd never so much as glanced at Rukia, even when she used her powers in the clinic.

_What__'__s __going __on __here__?_

_You __don__'__t __have __time __for __this__!_ Sode no Shirayuki scolded her.

Rukia was abruptly brought back into the present. "Fuck," she repeated, quietly this time, and sped towards Ichigo's school, hoping that she wouldn't be too late.

Rukia left the school roof after her conversation with Ichigo, fully aware that she'd been manipulated but too happy with him to care. Ichigo had noticed that something strange had gone on with the fight - the fact that the mask went unbroken - and told her as soon as she arrived, as she herself would've reported information to a superior officer arriving on the scene. After that, he'd remembered and used a throwaway comment she'd made once about reverse casting to try to get her to agree to let him to watch the fight. He wanted to see it even if he couldn't participate.

_He __is __going __to __make __a _fantastic _member __of __the __Eleventh __someday__,_ Rukia thought happily.

_I __think __he __might __be __better __suited __for __the __Ninth__,_ Shirayuki thought back at her. _Spread __your __senses__._

_You __don__'__t __have __to __remind __me__._ Rukia take a deep breath in, then out, trying to achieve the slight meditative trance that let her search for spiritual presences in her immediate vicinity. Her range was small, but as long as the boy she was looking for hadn't left the school grounds yet, Rukia should have been unable to find him.

A stray irritable thought kept her from focusing. _No__, __hold __on__. __I __saw __him __first__, __Captain __Kaien__'__s __not __fucking __poaching __Ichigo __from __me__._ Shiba Kaien, who insisted that everyone address him by his first name, had been promoted to captain of the Ninth Division a few years after the traitor Kaname Tousen's execution. He'd still been vice-captain of the Thirteenth during the year that Rukia had been assigned there, and while Rukia liked him, she didn't like him enough to hand over her only student.

_Can__'__t __we __discuss __this __later__? __It__'__s __only __a __hypothetical__, __anyway__._

Rukia crossed her arms and scowled. _Captain __Kaien__'__s __not __even _hypothetically _poaching __Ichigo __from __me__! _She had completely forgotten about anything outside of her own mind and was very close to dropping into her mindscape just to argue with her sword 'in person'.

_This __is __just __another __reason __why __you__'__ll __never __be __elegant __enough __to __wield __my __bankai__,_ Shirayuki thought nastily.

_Oh__, __bring __it__, __princ__-_

"Excuse me."

"What?" Rukia snarled, Shirayuki echoing the words in her mind. In front of her was an unimpressed stick of a boy with a spiritual pressure that, while nowhere near as strong as hers, was impossible to miss from a few feet away. "Oh, sorry," Rukia said, schooling her features to something more pleasant. "I was arguing with my sword."

"I.. see." He didn't look terribly impressed. Well, most people thought she was a little nuts when she argued with Shirayuki - apparently, most shinigami didn't talk to their swords unless they had gone down to their mindscape to do it.

"Well, let's go somewhere where people won't think you're talking to thin air." Ichigo came out of the building and looked around; Rukia waved her hand in the air, and Ichigo spotted it and hurried over.

"I know of a place," stick-boy said curtly. He strode off and Rukia followed, unbothered by the human boy taking the lead.

"His name's Ishida Uryuu," Ichigo told her quietly as they walked. "He's not in my class, so I don't know anything about him."

"Okay, good job."

"Rukia-" She shook her head and Ichigo fell silent.

They soon reached a deserted field, part of a nearby park. A bow formed in Ishida's left hand and Rukia abruptly realized just what the boy was. "Ichigo, step back. You promised," she reminded him before he could argue. He nodded, looking all the while like she'd forced him to swallow something sour, and backed off to the edge of the clearing. "Quincy," Rukia called out to Ishida.

He smirked. "So, you know who I am."

"Yes." Rukia kept her hand off her sword; she didn't want to appear hostile, and Shirayuki wasn't pleased with her at the moment anyway. "My name is-"

"I don't need to know your name," Ishida sneered. "You're a shinigami. That's all that matters."

"Fine. I'm the shinigami assigned to this area and have the ability to deliver souls peacefully to Soul Society. I require that you stop exterminating hollows and leave their cleansing to me."

"'Require'? This isn't Soul Society, _shinigami_. Your laws don't apply here."

Rukia took a deep breath. She'd hoped that the person she encountered would listen to reason, but he obviously knew the history between the shinigami and the Quincy, judging by his immediate disdain for her. "I don't want to fight you. I'd get in a lot of trouble for killing a living human."

"Oh yeah? Well, I have the perfect solution, then." He smiled bitterly. "A contest, to see who can get rid of the most hollows." His right hand reached into his school bag.

"Not acceptable," Rukia told him bluntly. Even one more hollow that he exterminated was another soul that would never get reborn.

"Too bad you don't have a choice," Ishida said as he pulled a small, white pill out of his bag.

Rukia had seen that pill before, had requisitioned and used it on behalf of her squad. It was hollow bait, and when crushed, it summoned dozens, sometimes hundreds of hollows into the area. The game Ishida wanted to play was a yearly event in the Eleventh Division, when the top ten seated officers went out past the last districted area of Rukongai and tried to see who could kill the most hollows.

When the Eleventh played, only members of their own division were hurt. If the Quincy crushed the hollow bait in Karakura Town, it would be impossible to stop every single hollow before innocents were hurt, maybe eaten.

The Quincy had a decent amount of spiritual pressure for a human, but it was nothing compared to Rukia's, the power of someone who had been training constantly for decades. She was in front of the boy before he even noticed she had moved, and Rukia calmly plucked the hollow bait from his hand and tucked it into a pocket. Just as he noticed what she had done, Rukia took hold of his right wrist with one hand and his right hand with her other, and _twisted_.

He yelled in sudden agony as his wrist broke.

The Quincy jumped back and raised his bow, but his right hand couldn't form the right position to pull back the bow's string.

"That's a warning," Rukia told him bluntly. "I can't kill you, but I can sure as hell keep you from destroying any more souls."

"They're hollows!" the Quincy said through gritted teeth. "Monsters!"

"They're misshapen souls. You are _murdering_ innocent people behind those masks, do you get that?"

"Shinigami are all the same! Protecting _souls_ at the cost of the lives of living humans!"

"I don't care what you think, I care what you do," Rukia snapped. "If I catch you destroying another soul, I'll crush the bones in your wrist to powder so you can never draw a bow again. If you manage to kill another soul after that, I'll send a Cleanup Squad after your ass, and they're not _nearly_ as nice as me."

As it was, she would still have to report the Quincy's presence, and the Second Division might choose to send the Cleanup Squad anyway. Rukia couldn't scatter the paper trail for this incident like she had with Ichigo, since the Quincy had actually exterminated some hollows. Not that she _wanted_ to either - unlike Ichigo, who was pretty damn likable, this guy was a complete prick.

He kept muttering threats, but Rukia didn't bother listening. She used shunpo to reach Ichigo's side in an instant and was pleased to notice that he didn't so much as blink at what, to him, would have looked like her teleporting in front of him. "Was that necessary?" Ichigo demanded. Rukia scowled and opened up her mouth to retort, but he continued, "That's not a rhetorical question, I really want to know. Was it necessary?"

"He was going to summon dozens of hollows here just to have a _contest__,_" Rukia spat. "Yeah, I had to do it. And I could have done worse, but I didn't."

Ichigo looked down at her. Rukia met his stare and didn't look away. "Okay," Ichigo said eventually. He looked over at the Quincy, who was walking off in another direction, looking angry enough to spit fire. "I guess he wouldn't take it well if I tried to help him out, huh?"

"He'll be fine, the hospital's only six street segments from here."

"Blocks," Ichigo corrected with a sigh, "not segments."

"Whatever. Want me to walk _you_ home, little boy?" Rukia teased.

"Why? Need me to help you cross the street, old woman?" he shot back. "No no, hold on!" Ichigo exclaimed as Rukia raised her mouth to begin a binding incantation. "I'm too tired for that crap today, and anyway, you never answered my question."

"'Cause you didn't ask me one."

"Earlier," he reminded her, "on the roof. What took you so long to get here?"

Isshin had distracted her, of course, but Rukia didn't know whether or not to tell him that. It only took her a split-second to decide on the half-truth, "Your dad startled the shit out of me."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "He's good at that. Did he start singing in the middle of the living room or something? You should just punch him in the stomach and let him try to figure out where the hell it came from."

Rukia snickered. It was even funnier if she imagined Isshin knowing where the blow came from and having to pretend he didn't. "Maybe I will," she proclaimed. "Builds character, right?"

"Maybe not, then. Dad's got enough character for three people."

They both chuckled quietly for a minute. "I'm going to head back and write up the report for this, and ask why the hell I wasn't informed there's a Quincy in the area."

"Sure, see you at home."

Rukia sped off and quickly reached the Kurosaki household. As she slowed down and entered the house, she wished she had more room to use her shunpo, just like she wished every time she came back. The Karakura area was too small compared to how she used to run around Soul Society all day. "I'm home," she called out as she literally walked through the front door. Isshin was within sight, laughing boisterously at something on the television.

Whether he just hadn't heard her or was continuing to ignore her presence, Rukia decided she didn't care. She'd had to break some kid's wrist and didn't even get a fight out of it, and now she had to write a report that might result in the Quincy's death. Whatever the hell was going on with Kurosaki Isshin, Rukia didn't feel like dealing with it.

* * *

Author's Notes: And that's how that went. I had this incident and its resolution planned from the beginning, just because I couldn't see this version of Rukia - or even the canon version - reacting very well to someone who was threatening human lives. I don't think canon!Rukia would have dealt with it like this, but my version did.

I didn't know I was going to have Isshin (accidentally) react to Rukia presence until I started this chapter and tried to figure out why Rukia had been late to Ishida's fight with the hollow in the last chapter. I kind of wanted to just let it go, but that seemed cheap... and then I thought of this! Rukia will eventually confront Isshin about it, but it's honestly not important at the moment.

I'm sorry nearly a month passed without an update, I'll try to do better for the next chapter. If anyone has a request about seeing a specific moment from Rukia's past, I can try to fit it in.

As always, thank you to everyone who reviews, favorites, alerts or even just reads this story. Knowing you like this story gives me a happy thrill!


	13. And Thus He Was Named 'Shichiro'

**Rukia, age 125.**

* * *

Rukia was watching over the 'training' of some of the unseated officers - mostly just watching them beat on each other and breaking things up if it looked like death was imminent - when Jiro came jogging into the training ground. Lazy ass that he was, he hollered from across the grounds rather than get close enough to Rukia that he could speak in a normal tone. "King!" he shouted. "Fresh meat wants to talk to you!"

"What about?" she shouted back. Jiro shrugged in return and turned to leave. "No you don't," she muttered and quick-stepped her way past the fighters. Rukia stopped at Jiro's back, reached up to grab his collar, and yanked it down to the level of her own collar. For a tall man like Jiro, that meant he was pulled so far backwards that for a moment, his chest was level enough to be used as a table. He took a step back and managed to catch his balance when Rukia let go, proving he was less of an idiot than he'd been when Rukia had met him. "You get to supervise," Rukia said, a little miffed that he hadn't actually fallen to the ground.

"It's my day off," Jiro whined.

"Tough shit. Stop 'em if it looks like someone's going to die, and keep on that stunted one or he'll keep pulling his punches. I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU, WAKABA!" Rukia shouted suddenly. The yelp and smack from behind her were evidence that she'd startled somebody into doing something stupid. Jiro didn't even blink, just looked even more resigned. "You can shove it off on one of your brothers if they come by, but finish out the hour otherwise. Clear?"

"Yes, King," said Jiro, resigned. Rukia reached up and gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder before she left.

The new recruits to the Eleventh Division still gathered in the same place they'd been since Rukia joined up, so she made her way there easily enough. Rukia wondered if they'd gotten a hot woman in the semi-random assignment, since it seemed the only way an incomer would be able to get someone as lazy as Jiro to fetch a seated officer.

_If __someone __wants __to __talk __about __what __to __do __as __one __of __the __few __woman __in __a __mostly__-__male __division__, __I__'__ll __send __them __to __Yachiru__,_ Rukia decided. She had a(n admittedly lazy) habit of sending her problems towards her vice-captain, who loved to play with new people. Zaraki didn't mind, and actually considered it Rukia's contribution to babysitting duty. He didn't mind Yachiru hanging off of him all day, but if he wasn't actually fighting, Yachiru usually found it more entertaining to mess with other members of the division.

The room the new recruits met in for the first week was empty of anyone but Renji and 15th Seat Harada, who gave orientation and ran the mandated icebreakers, which were mostly races of ridiculous lengths and orders to find things that didn't exist. Renji and Harada both bowed to Rukia when she entered the room, which was a little weird. "12th Seat Abarai," said Harada, "is there something I can help you with?"

"One of my dimwits said a recruit wanted to see me," Rukia explained cheerfully. "I thought I'd find out what it was for before I drove their face into the ground. What's up, Renji?"

Harada smirked and waved a hand toward Renji, who said with a stone-blank face, "12th Seat Abarai, I apologize for my presumption."

"...What?"

"I was the one who asked Hino-san if he would arrange a meeting between us."

"...What?" Rukia repeated, trying to figure out what was going on. 'Hino-san' was probably Jiro, but like hell if she'd remember his real name. That still left the problem of what the hell Renji was doing being deferential and referring to her by rank, and hanging around in the... recruit room...

"Holy shit, did you get kicked out of the Sixth?" Rukia couldn't decide whether she was angry that he'd get kicked out or gleeful that she now had power over her best friend. "Do I need to call nii-san out on this? Holy fuck, do you think I could use this as an excuse to get nii-san and Ken-sama to fight?" Harada, who had been making his way out of the room, stopped in the doorway to listen.

"Sir, I chose to enter the Eleventh Division of my own accord in order to become a better fighter." Renji was standing at attention, which was hilarious and awesome. None of Rukia's normal minions treated her with that kind of respect.

_On __the __other __hand__, __if __I __lord __it __over __him __all __the __time__, __he__'__ll __probably __stop __including __me __when __he __buys __rounds __at __the __bar__._ "At ease, you idiot, like I haven't known you since we were little and starving."

With no chance that two captains would be fighting soon, Harada left. Rukia was too focused on Renji to care what Harada was doing anyway. "You were a Tenth Seat yesterday, why transfer? I know we've got better fighters, but now you're not even seated!" Most inter-division transfers of a seated officer found a way to keep that person in an officer position at the end, though sometimes they were ranked at a worse seat. The Eleventh was an exception to the rule; everyone except for the captain started at the very bottom. Even Yachiru had technically been unseated at first, although the previous vice-captain quickly offered her the position after she nearly killed him in a friendly match.

"Sir-" Rukia let out a sound that might have been a growl and Renji sighed. "Captain Kuchiki took me aside and said that rising through the ranks was going to start taking a lot longer. Even if I found enough time to train between my other duties, there's a lot of political bullshit in the way. He suggested that I transfer somewhere that would give me time to become a better fighter and transfer back once I reached a higher rank."

"One of you could have asked me for help, I would have smoothed some of it over!" Rukia complained. "Gotten you out of icebreakers or something, at least." She made a mental note to ruin Yumichika's hair or something, since the transfer paperwork would have had to go past him and he hadn't said a word to Rukia about it.

"I think I can handle a week of pointless orders," Renji said with a smirk. "And the captain's not one to ask for favors."

"I'm his sister! He's always telling me to ask for help if I need it."

"Are you sure he knows the help goes both ways?" Renji asked. "'Cause what I see is a lot of him reaching out and you not giving back."

Rukia stepped forward, stung and angry. "He's the Kuchiki head and a captain, I don't have anything to offer him! Except apparently being adopted, which I'm not doing." The restrictions she would be under as sister to the head of one of the Noble Families would be too much.

"You could visit him more often." Rukia knew he meant visit Byakuya _ever_.

"Since when do you care, anyway?"

"Captain Kuchiki came to me without me asking to," Renji told her, his eyebrows coming down in annoyance. "He offered me advice when I never said I needed help with it, and it was _good_ advice. And when I asked why, do you know what he said?" He paused, waiting for her to reply. When she spent too long in sullen silence, he bit out, "_Rukia_."

"Fine, what?" she snapped. "What did he say?"

"He said it was the kind of help that should be given to any member of his division, but he came to tell me himself, in person, because I'm _your_ brother."

Rukia closed her eyes tight and ran a hand over her face and into her hair, where she gripped the black strands tight. "Fuck. Yes, okay. I'll visit more often. _Meanwhile__,_" she snapped, looking back up at him. "You're minion number seven."

The sudden change of topic startled Renji, who could only reply, "...What?"

"Seven's a good number. Yumi thinks it's pretty, Ikkaku thinks it's lucky, that's pretty much as good as you get here. Be proud!"

"Don't I get randomly assigned to work somewhere?" Renji pleaded. "On one of the hollow-fighting teams, maybe?"

"Not in this division!" 'Don't shoot the messenger?' Hah! Rukia would just torture him instead. "I'll tell Harada to send you to me at the end of the week. Congratulations, seventh son!"

The look on Renji's face said that he was regretting talking to Rukia, or possibly just regretting the transfer altogether. It cheered Rukia up immensely.

* * *

Author's Notes: Writer's block sucks. If anyone has a request for something short in this universe they'd like to see written, let me know, I'll see what I can do.

Also, guys, don't pay too much attention to the number of years it's taking everyone to rise through the ranks. Rukia's ages are more of a guideline to what order the chapters take place in. I'll fix the actual time to be more realistic later. The dates when Rukia's in the living world, on the other hand, convey the right amount of time passing. She's only going to be there for a year so I've been more careful about it.

Thank you to everyone who reviews, favorites, or alerts this story!


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